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STEPHANIE

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Wednesday, September 06, 2006
i dreamt that there was an eclipse. we were at a big house. my mother's side of the family i think. the house was supposedly my godparents'. at 7 am or sooo, we wenta fetch ethan to school. it was really dark. i donno why so dark. weird. but it was like as if its 10pm at night or smth. the streets were messed up. trash everywhere. den at 10am or so we went to fetch ethan home from school. he said smth lke " why is it night time so fast?" haha. den my godma told him its an eclipse. i think ididnt know it was an eclipse till that time in the dream. ok i htink im not making sense.

but anyawy, i dreamt about my godpa's nephew as well. the one i worked with last year. joakim. joachim we were at some weird place. queuing up for tickets. some adventure park or smth. it wasnt a date. den my brother appeared. haha. joachim's brother didnt htou.


My lips told a lie
For a trivial reason
I suppose it was for no one else
But only to protect me
When I was thoughtless

When I noticed, I was trapped and at a loss
Surrounded by countless lies

The sky I looked up at was beautiful
I thought of youI wished
I could walk with firm steps
Facing forward like you

But I escaped from the reality
Escaped from all the painI said to myself
"I'll be my ideal self some day
Though I'm far from that now"

After such excuses, my eyes were opened
What I could do was only to live in the present time

Does this voice reach you?
Does it ring in your heart?
I'm walking on today
Looking at your back as a guidepost to live


im a horrible person