pumpkin rocks

2009-04-05T20:05:00.001+08:00

HELLO FRIENDS! friends who visit. haha.

i'm JUMPING SHIP!

2009-04-05T11:02:00.000+08:00

maybe i should hop over to lj.

2009-04-03T16:27:00.004+08:00

now more than ever, i think that 24 hours a day is sooooooo not enough. work sucks up every moment of THE DAY. you hardly get to see DAYLIGHT when you're stuck in this stoopid office building for more than 8 hours a day.....!

theyre getting reliant at work. going on holiday and leaving me to deal with three lawyers? o.m.g dont even think about it please! i dont want to have to deal with thattttt : S and taking over at liberty? WORSEEEEEEE T.T

I WANNA QUIT.

But, somethings holding me back. i think i feel badddd. they keep asking me to stayyyyy. even till august! which i totally said i wont. and that the LATEST i will stay is till june. MID june. LATEST LATEST. sighhhhh. did i mention that i hate office politics too?

im going to meet LIL DENISE LATER ONNNN~ oh i took leave today. thats why im blogging here. haha. glady says i have to be influenced by her to be a good girl. maybeeeeeee i have to. HAH.

DAVICHI 8282
만나지 말잔 내 말 연락도 말란 내 말
너 진짜 그대로 할거니 그게 아닌데

이대로 끝일까봐 널 영영 잃을까봐
점점 더 맘이 불안해져 너무 슬퍼져
정이 뭔지 있다가도 그리워 너 없인 못살아

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
지금 바로 전화줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
매일 날 기다려
사랑한다고 사랑한다고
문자라도 남겨줘
날 울리지마 노우 워우 워~

어디서 뭘 하길래 얼마나 바쁘길래
혹시 너 일부러 안받니 난 줄 알면서

벌써 날 잊은거니 마음을 접은거니
날 두고 니가 설마 설마 자꾸 눈물나
정이 뭔지 사랑보다 무서워 지우기 힘들어

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
지금 바로 전화줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
매일 날 기다려

사랑한다고 사랑한다고
문자라도 남겨줘 Oh Oh Oh
날 울리지마 노우 워우 워~

call me Tell me hold me
아니라고~
call me Tell me hold me
가면 안돼~

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
다시 나를 찾아줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
할말이 있는 걸

너를 사랑해 너무 사랑해
너를 향해 소리쳐 Oh Oh Oh~
널 기다릴게 노우 워우 워~

call me Tell me hold me
아니라고~
call me Tell me hold me
돌아와줘~

IM JEALOUS. shes only 18 AND SHE GETS TO SING AND SHE KNOWS LEE MIN HO.
how unfair! shit i have to diet. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz im going crazy.

2009-03-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

2009-03-29T20:05:00.001+08:00

SU JU'S MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM LIKE NEVER BEFORE MANXXX.

2009-03-27T22:17:00.003+08:00

T.T im dying.

i ate breakfast twice today. not because i consciously wanted to. i actually FORGOT i ate breakfast before leaving the house. haha. and when i reached my office,i bought bread and went up. i didnt even realise by myself that i had already eaten actually luh! i only realised after the pantry aunty asked what i was having for breakfast.

oh no.

2009-03-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

work today was SCAREEEE.

the atmosphere was SOOO very tenseeee. office politics sigh. its so tough! it wasnt so bad when i first joined the firm. people were rather friendly with each other. now my secretary/boss is perpetually irritated with the girls from the other department. and i am sooooo weary of it all! i wanna stay out of it as much as i can! but the two departments are rather segregated T.T

besides that, i met this rather SCAREEE looking client. his name is **n s*** leon. woahhh he came to the firm to sign his affidavit. oh my he looked so fierce. i was rather intimidated.. after signing, he just left. like as if he was in A HUGE hurry or smth :S andd i remarked to the receptionist that he looked really fierce and the receptionist replied in the affirmative! hahaha. SCAREEEEYYY.

ahhhhhhh someone please help ameliorate the situation in the office! please reduce the amount of tension. its so scareeeeyyyy.

i faxed something out all the way to British Columbia, Canada todayyyy~ haha. wenta search for the codes and sent out wrongly at first! butttttttt finally got it done on the third try? first two tries i did the same thing.. after the second try i wenta doubleeeee check and seeee whtr the dialing codes were right.

UNI APPS SHOOT ME WHENS SCHOOL GONNA START AH DIE WHEN AM I STOPPING WORK WHATS THIS HAPPENING TO ME WHATS THAT HAPPENING IM SO TIRED BUT MAYBE IF YOU'LL ONLY SING TO ME THIS WONT HAPPEN AH DIE HOW DION GOODNIGHT.

2009-03-23T19:49:00.002+08:00

i have this SUDDEN urge to blog. blog about what, i dont really know though.

my minds constantly hovering in a state of dis-satisfaction and unrest.

2009-03-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

i think i went a little crazy today esp at the charles and keith WAREHOUSE SALE. hhahaha. the day was a really turbulent one! and no i didnt go crazy as in the i-bought-4-pairs-of-shoes-and-5-bags kind of crazy, but the really crazy kinda crazy. i told pauline that i could just laugh and cry ON THE SPOT. and i think i really could. but of course, no one does that for the sake of doing it!

this all seems to be one big joke. its like im stuck in a whirlpool forever. and whats worse is that its nto a whirlpool that sucks you in totally and kills you right away. its like, being stuck in a washing machine that never stops spinning! (HAHA) youre stuck and you can never get out.

certain things are just disgusting and should never be condoned full stop.

2009-03-13T21:03:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish our conversations never have to end,
but sometimes i also wish you never were part of anything.

you say there's a special connection.
but does it mean anything?

當你的眼睛瞇著笑　當你喝可樂當你吵
我想對你好　你從來不知道　想你想你　也能成為嗜好
當你說今天的煩惱　當你說夜深你睡不著
我想對你說　卻害怕都說錯　好喜歡你　知不知道

i remember the day, at my house, after a day out, with the television on, you told me the title of a certain song.

you asked, and i told you i wasnt accidentally in love. did i even know?

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming
All this love melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

~~maybe~~ you should just leave.

2009-03-07T01:42:00.002+08:00

i'm kinda tired of being second to everyone. the second fiddle. the second to find out. the second ranked. the back up? idk. ah whatever.,

i just dont liek to give my best and see it not being appreciated. fuck ive had enough of that.

2009-03-01T22:28:00.003+08:00

RIGHT YES. theres so much stuck in my head right now! i wish all my thoughts will just spillover into this page and fill up the blog post without me having to consciously organise this whole chunk of mess trapped in the white and grey matterrr. haha.

i wonder what i would do if i were really left alone. by myself for my entire life. ah how would i handle that. its rather daunting that possibility. and not impossible.

-SHRIEKS-

im tiredddd. it rained cats and dogs the entire day. the sky was awfully dark and the thunderclaps were rather/very loud and scary. to think it was still sunny earlier in the day. it was so warm! and then, its like at the snap of the thunder god's fingers, clouds came out and lightning struck! we mere humanlings can do nothing to prevent that!

REALLY hope the weather on thursday will be bright and sunny! stephanie here will TAKE A DAY'S LEAVE FROM WORK and head to ECP with LIL DEE and WR! i need chill out timeeee! hopefully the rest will be willing and able to join us for dinner that night... at the very least.

FXRXIXDXAXYX ARGH!

anywayyyy i chopped off my hair. okay no its not THAT short. but at least, its a change! now that ive taken the first step, i shall be slightly more adventurous next time!

SO STAY TUNED AND GOODLUCK. bye.

2009-03-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

i'm scared. are you?

2009-02-18T23:48:00.005+08:00

almost a week now, and i think the floodgates have ripened and are probably opening up soon. hahahah. sounds so emo melancholic. but what am i to do what am i to say. nothing ever goes smoothly.

SO, we've probably established that im caught in the middle where, the logical thing to do would be to go forward, but where the practical thing to do would be to either remain stagnant, glued to the spot, or to go backwards. something is holding me back, but is there anything, anything at all nudging me forward?

maybe it just takes time eh, everything takes time. time really heals all wounds. time numbs everything. effective cure.

just laugh. will no one understand?

2009-02-17T22:16:00.004+08:00

of my 18 years alive, the only thing i've really learnt is that life is weird. haha. i think ive said this ten thousand times and i might say it another ten thousand times, but LIFE REALLY IS WEIRD. and scary, and saddening, and unpredictable, and torturous, and heartbreaking.

I really never know what to make of things that happen to me. White lies or blunt lies, special treatment or perceived special treatment, attention or no attention, satisfaction or dissatisfaction. AH whats this and whats that?! so what if its like that? and so what if its not like that? does that mean anything? i dont feel sad anymore. i dont feel that affected anymore. am i becoming less and less human?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. wake up stephanieeeeeeeeeee!

my office got fitted in with more shelves over the weekend. because, as a law firm, you obviously need ALOT of shelves for ALOT of files. haha. they squeezed shelves into EVERY available space. and the result was an office that would prolly give anyone or everyone claustrophobia. haha. so this big boss asked me this,

GS(Boss): So do you feel claustrophobic?
Stephanie: Yes a little

when your boss asks you that you feel abit of concern from him right? oh but no he went on with this

GS: But you will get used to it right?

T.T

ANYWAY, dearest old brother has gone back to australia! HAVE FUN AT UNIVERSITY if youre reading this! : D

someone really help meeeeeee. its killing me, stuck at the back of my mind, creeping out from time to time to slowly eat me alive.

2009-02-14T13:33:00.001+08:00

How did i get myself into rubbish like this? :S

2009-02-10T21:26:00.001+08:00

pork & beans says:
eh i dont approve of ~~so and so~~ . i tell u first @!!!

hahahahaha deniseeeee.

2009-02-07T21:33:00.002+08:00

RIGHT. i took a month long hiatus from blogging and i think i'm finally ready to write here again! HAHA. okay whatever.

Work, has been hectic. sometimes i ALMOST fall asleep at court. but then i got to go to high court, and ALMOST got to go to PRISON. soooo its quite interesting. days at office are crazy. sometimes i stay at the office till almost 8 and yesterday i worked till a record breaking 930. okay i confess its not that much of a big deal if youre a lawyer/legal secretary, but i'm neither! haha i'm just an intern. but besides that, the EXPERIENCE was bountiful! learnt alot of things and all.

movies ive watched 4 this month alone. haha. three in less than 24 hours last weekend, and one more last night!

AHHHHH okay idk what else to say, but that weekends zoom by. monday im going to courtAGAIN. i will survive!

2009-02-07T20:54:00.002+08:00

just your heart,

in exchange for mine.

2009-01-14T20:13:00.002+08:00

ALRIGHT! so its been exactly a month since i last blogged! haha. what a coincidence. anyway, within this one month crap loadsa stuff happened! my cousin got married. we got busy preparing for e wedding, den directly after e dinner, we left for japan e next day, stayed there for two entire weeks. became maids and what not, and then flew back to singapore after new year and xmas! or rather xmas and new year!

SO nows the 14th of jan. i started work at e law firm two days ago! tmr will be my 4th day. told them i'd be working there for two months so i have approximately 30 more days of work to go! ah. I WILL SURVIVE. it'll prolly get better as e days go by! monday was a boring day at court. tuesday was a tiring day. the day started really badly for me. i had to get on a bus that was gonna break down..... and den i got stranded at e start of north bridge road, awaiting e next bus and praying that i wont be late for work and hence for e court session. dennn ended work at 720 that night and finally reached home at 830. wow.

today, was a GOOD DAY! but maybe also not so good. haha. its good cos court ended really early! and i had an early day! ended at 545! but e bus crawls. so i got reached home at only bout 650? yeppp. but it may be a bad day also, cos i realised that i was forgotten on 3 accounts, and at least one of e three, i sorta offered help out of good will? ah but i think im so used to such stuff that its normal to me. im always e one who's overlooked. and i really dont liek that. well, but who else is there to blame but myself?! blame me for being such a boring character. rarrr whatever.

THANKS NAOMI FOR LUNCHING WITH ME. i really feel that my facial muscles have been put to waste! i smile so much less now! slp on e way to work in e bus. in court just copy copy copy. den on e bus home, stone. RARRR lucky theres lunch with someone i know! pheww. wonder how it'll be like next week though! at least prolly no more white blouses, black skirt and jacket. i can try to wear colours! yay. many clothes to sort out! my feet have been given very good exercise with e heels im wearing all day. ahhhhhhhh. LIFE! i really wonder.

2008-12-14T23:34:00.002+08:00

SURVEY FOR FUN!
1. Put your (music program) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from

IF SOMEONE SAYS, “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY:
Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Full Of Happiness by H.O.T
( WOOO~hahah!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
梁山伯与茱丽叶 by 卓文萱&Cao Ge
( diaoz! haha)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Our Last Summer by Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard, Amanda Seyfried & Meryl Streep
(rmbs glady's wonderland..)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
New Frontier by Fire Bomber
(lousy motto =/)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
My Oh My by Aqua
(hahahahahahahhahahahaha)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Move Along by All-American Rejects
(HAHAH! i move along really well then)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
GAME by Ayumi Hamasaki

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Jiu Shi Ai by 蔡依林
(HAHAH my best friend is LOVE! better than glady's dj : P )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bye Bye by SS501
(i say may goodbyes? :S)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Here I Am by Air Supply
(k this makes no sense)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Orgasm by X Japan
(x.x Omg. disgusting. i dont even listen to that........)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Lollipop (Candyman) by Aqua
(HAHAHAH)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The (After) Life Of The Party by Fall Out Boy
( well theres the afterlife part...)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
夜曲 (Nocturne) by 周杰倫

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Want It That Way by BSB

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
WONDERLAND by Ayumi Hamasaki

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
圣诞夜惊魂 by 五月天
( jing hun? )

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
That's How You Know (As Used in the Film Enchanted) by Amy Adams
(i will die wondering how someone will know how i love him/her hahah.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Drowing by BSB
(this shld be e answer to e previous qns! hahha. but it fits here too!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
When I Say by Fly To The Sky
(AHH HWANHEE)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
夢から夢へ by Chage&Aska
(no idea what this is!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
乱世浮生 by Mayday
(hope this doesnt mean no!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST
Chiquitita by ABBA

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
rainy day by Ayumi Hamasaki
(:S)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Distance～君とのキョリ by SS501
(ah e distance between you and me! HAHAH okay stupid)

AND AFTER THIS IS....
爷爷泡的茶by 周杰倫

I SHALL GO DRINK TEA! CIAO! hahahhaha.

2008-11-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

it annoys me that such a small insignificant action on your part can cause such a big impact on me. it took me awhile to get it all behind me. and all you had to do was to stirrup more trouble. thanks so much for destroying everything once again.

2008-11-22T23:35:00.004+08:00

life tricks you into believing that everything is fine, when everything under the covers is actually so fundamentally flawed that no one simple solution can be administered to better the situation. its in times when you realise the truth that you suffer the greatest shock. its not that you didnt know that problem existed. its just that you didnt expect it to surface and manifest once again.

i dont know la. maybe its just a mistake, cos pple overlook things right? esp when its smth unimportant?

I AM SO TIRED. my entire hse smells like barbeque and i wonder why.

I SURRENDER, I GIVE UP! its just not worth it. ITS NOT.

2008-11-18T23:34:00.003+08:00

i ALMOST cant believe i finished my book in a day. but, i had to! haha. i had to rewake the dormant idealist in me that died partially sometime ago. not that its good to be an idealist in today's HARSH baneful worldd-that which we call reality, its just that, sometimes its nice to just dream a lil? haha. every girl would have thought of a prince charming riding on a white horse at least once before eh? so maybe maybe we can just let ourselves dream abit.

ahhh liek snow white. hahah. the prince on his white horse comes riding towards you, your heart races, you must be dreaming..

-heres when the screeching sound comes on-

AND,

the next thing you know, youre rudely snapped back to reality. THE HARSH WORLD.

ahhhhh, l'amour. is it really that irrelevant in today's world? ahha.

2008-11-18T15:34:00.005+08:00

salty tears stream down your face, carrying the taste of unhappy memories better forgotten.

the aftermath is always worse than e act itself.

today, the sun will glow orange and bright,

and it will be the brightest day ever.

JAPAN HERE I COME SO SNOW ON ME LIKE NEVER BEFORE AND I SHALL BE HAPPY!

if only i can say this: the world hates me cos you love me.

2008-11-14T10:41:00.003+08:00

i can never aptly describe how i feel. most of the time, i just feel so muddled up, confused and unsure. and when i try to think it all through, it gets A LITTLE CLEARER, and then more questions pop up and it just becomes another mesh of unanswerable questions. i think in circles. and i speak in truncated fragments.

like denise, i really hope the end of a levels and post a levels wont just be an overhyped and overly anticipated time. i really hope i wont end up stuck at home and dreading the silence and the sound of me typing on my keyboard only. im sure there'll be outings and stuff.. but you CANT possibly go out like EVERY SINGLE DAY right? my pockets arent bottomless pits filled with golden coins.. and then theres the trouble of getting everyone to be free on a single day if you want liek mass outings. hahaha. AIKS nvm that luh. i shall leave it to LATER.

stuff me is going to do after A's?!?!
- IM GONNA TAKE JAP, and def driving since im LEGAL now.
- SLLEEEEPPP ALL DAY LONG. i am totally deprived of sleep, having not woken up late at all in the past two and a half weeks. cheers to me i've never done this before. and last night's slp was TERRIBLE.
- im gonna go prawning! hahahaha. though i dont really eat prawns.
- NIGHT SAFARI-ing dont think they have white tigers there.
- gonna get a jobbbb?
- pick up e guitar?
- DO A X STITCH
- prom shopping
- ... . .. . . .. . .

everything involves money. except sleeping T.T

will dreams ever come true?
i hope some do at least.
people tell me that my worst fears will never come true. but who can be absolutely sure they wont? life's so predicitably unpredictable. SOMEONE JUST SAVE ME.

2008-11-13T21:15:00.007+08:00

i havent blogged in awhile eh! haha. so im here.

its been what two months?

it still stays, it lingers, hides, and torments.

its dormant. will it go away?

but now i know!

now i know, now its over! finally. and its never going to come back.

ah weird. life truly is weird. i was sorta anxiously and kinda excitingly awaiting that day, but i wasnt really disappointed or anything also. haha its weird. i sorta expected? thats why i was looking forward to it? or maybe i was just looking forward to e day.. but looking at everything now though, seems like it was e least? haha but e qns is, who am i to expect more? who's anyone to expect anything? except bad htings? haha. i anticipate alot of not so happy things to happen, and many times they do.. MANY TIMES. i predict alot of things, to the disagreement of people around me, and so far i've almost always got proven right in e end.. but what's e point? whats e point in everything? i wonder why i put in so much effort.. i wonder why i try so hard to make it all perfect. when its all liek that. i wonder why i try to make everything nice and fair. i wonder why? im soooooooooo tired. both from lack of slp, and just tired tired also. TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

ANYWAY, TODAY I SAW MANY PPLE. haha i saw RIHANNA MANX. at e food court at bugis junction! haha. i shall upload e pic tmr! haha. i took A picture of her. opps. she was like on a shopping trip or smth. she looked relaly dao though. hahaha. with like two or three of her "guards" or assistants following her. she didnt even talk to them.. she just walked ahead of them.. i wonder what she ate.. imagine her eating BAN MIAN!? hahahah. saw miss jackina at e library too. and yu chuan at e foodcourt too!

anddddd, special thanks to smvps for celebrating my bday! and my brothers too! my elder brother sent me my present from aust! : D heres some pics! haha. younger brother bought me stuff too! :D (in e order i received e gifts,)

OK IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. i just want A's to be over like NOW! and i want all my troubles to go away! : S

2008-11-03T17:06:00.001+08:00

I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my fears
Everything's easy now I have you here

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

2008-11-02T15:37:00.001+08:00

Eighteen years and Eighteen more days to the end of A Levels.

Strive on!

2008-10-30T20:23:00.002+08:00

大好きだよ

なんだかあなたのコト思い出すのもったいないよ

Somehow, remembering all these things about you seems wasteful

あたしだけのものにしておきたいから

because I want to keep them to myself

なんだかあなたのコト思い出すのヤだよ

Somehow, remembering all these things about you, I don't want to think about it

だって１人でにやけてはずかしいよ

because it's embarassing to smile by myself

徹夜で帰ってきて疲れてるのにだっこしてくれて

Returning home after being out all night, you were tired but you cradled me in your arms

夢の中にいてもわかったよ

Though I was dreaming, I knew

あなたが恋しくて恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上どうしようもなく

There is nothing more that I can do

あなたが恋しくて恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっとずっと大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

知ってた? あの夜にね 2人でドライブに行った時

Did you know? On that night, remember?

バイクの後ろの座席で願ったコト

Riding on the back of the bike (with you) that which I wished for...

知ってた? あの夜にね 2人で見上げた星空に

Did you know? That night when the two of us looked up at the starry sky

あなたとあたしの幸せが見えたよ

I could see my happiness with you

たった１つ転がってたあたしを

The me that was tumbling (through life) alone

綺麗にしてくれていつだって支えてくれた

You made me beautiful and always supported me

あなたが恋しくて恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上離れたくないよ

I don't want to let go of you

あなたが恋しくて恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっとずっと大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

あなたが　恋しくて　恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上　どうしようもなくて

There is nothing more that I can do

あなたが　恋しくて　恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっと　ずっと　大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

ずっと　ずっと　ずっと　ずっと

Forever and ever, through and through

ずっと　ずっと　大好きだよ…

always and always, I love you...

2008-10-27T21:54:00.001+08:00

CRAZY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

2008-10-25T17:21:00.001+08:00

that nagging feeling.
that feeling i cant explain.
will it just go away?

BIG SIGH!

2008-10-20T18:26:00.004+08:00

why do we dream? (dream as in e thing you experience when sleeping at night, not the dream as in aspirations kinda dream.) they seem to just be images you see in your head while sleeping eh? but should they just be taken as meaningless images or not?

some say, when you dream, youre mentally preparing yourself for when/if that dream really becomes reality. that'd explain e countless dreams pple have had of themselves failing at certain impt examinations.. haha. yep and it does sound like a logical explanation. but smtms pple do "fantasize" in their dreams right? like maybe some crazy dbsk fan may dream of herself tgt with changmin or someone. hahah. sooo how do you explain those kidna dreams? i definitely dont think youre subconsciously preparing yourself to meet your favourite star though. haha.

im now constantly perplexed, puzzled, bewildered, confused, confounded . . . the list goes on. hahah.

Fastforward two years, and this time we're taking our A Levels instead of our O's. Will it be the same this time around? Will I be able to do as well? Will I leave SAJC with the same emotions and feelings as when i left Zhonghua? Will it just be the beginning of another long treacherous journey? Ah, the fear of the unknown. The questions that have no answers, or rather, the questions we will have to find the answers to ourselves. I hope the answers I find are the right ones. I seriously do. But, there's no such thing as a correct answer is there?

rarrrr i wrote that like two and a half months ago. how time flies. from when i wrote that till now, SOOOOO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED! its so scary. lets see what happened,
1)got scared/into e panic mode for prelims
2)started studying for prelims
3)took a short break from prelims
4)started studying again for prelims during e sept holidays
5)certain funny things during e sept holidays
6)prelims cum start of rubbish things
7)end of prelims, continuation of funny things
8)slacking time
9)end of funny things
10)end of school....
11)start of studybreak

two more weeks to a levels now. five more to the end of it? im kinda scared. i dont knwo what to do after a levels. i already feel lost now thinking bout it. what will i do when the time actually comes? i really have no idea what i want to do with my life. im like floating around and its getting scarier by e minute manx.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone just show me e way PLEASE! X.x someone just take my hand and lead me! tell me what i shld do what, and when i shld do what. dont let me second guess myself. dont let me wonder off track. just bring me to where i think i want to go.

im tiredddddd~

2008-10-18T12:17:00.002+08:00

rarrrrrr, im like in e i-have-alot-to-say-but-dont-know-what-to-say mood. haha

two more weeks. PANIC MODE IS GONNA BE ACTIVATED SOON.

new tag phrases:
1) life is weird!
2) i have a terrible fate.

2008-10-10T13:20:00.034+08:00

FAREWELL SAJC! (long entry with many pictures!)

yesterday was e LAST OFFICIAL DAY of school.

-no more uniforms for the rest of my life,
-no more teachers to come nagging at me,
-no more walking to school everyday with STEPHANIE, haha sounds like im walking to school with myself X.X,
-no more going to the cafe, MAKING pauline eat, not only that, but also making her eat what i want her to. hahahaha.
-no more sitting at the fitness corner, eating drumsticks and chicken patties with LOTSA ketchup, talking bout stuff with pauline..
-no more msging in class,
-no more wasting time in e library, OH which reminds me i have unpaid library fines. hahah.

-no more many things.

last chapel session! hah.

our gifts for our teachers!

last civics.

esther and i! : D

bacteria girls and i! winnie, janice and esHtella! haha.

chan yu wei!

RARRR-phael!

nat, jialun and jialin! always disturbing me..

JOSHUA! sometime mrt partner! : D

ULTRA RUBBISHY and funny shida! (:

jialin! hah.

us with mdm leeee~ one of our fave teachers i'd say. haha.

rubbish kai! haha.

yuwei+kenny.

didnt get to take a picture with tesss, but here she is!

cool GP class!

REALLY nonsensical harry and cool hoeping. haha.

lynn and melisa!

mew! she loves me. hahaha.

shiping! s11 friendddd.

jasrin from OCIP CAMP! and kelly from ocip! : D

wanyinggg! who just celebrated her bday two days ago!

JASON!

07S10!

SMVPS!

constance!

david actually looks nice here. as in not scary luh.

stuff i got yesterday!

this year has been a turbulent year, as always. haha. im glad i got to know some of my classmates better this year. pple like kenny, yuwei, janice, estella, winnie, jl, jl, nat... sometimes i wonder how my jc life would differ if i was closer to my class instead. BUT NONETHELESS, im still glad i had smvps and the twelfies! ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE YEA! life WILL be good to us! (:

after farewell assembly, we PROCEEDED to orchard to carry out our plan to surprise vinnie and the guys, yk and chongping! oh it was SO tiring lugging our bags and walking ard orchard to and fro getting this and getting that. i almost died. and there was the travelling to the WEST part. haha. and the WHICH IS THE STOP?! we didnt even know what bus stop we shld stop at to get to vinnies hse, which floor she stayed and stuff like that. haha. it was not TOTALLY well planned before hand i guess. BUT WE DID IT STILL. we managed to surprise her and stuff.

then it was off to cathay we go. we were like an hour late? X.X ordered double up chicken at astons cos i was greedy. BUT alas, i couldnt even finish it. shldnt have ordered. hahaha. then after dinner, we sat ard outside the cinema ticketing counter.. for like an hour? it took us REALLY long to decide whtr or not ot watch a movie. ahha. i was kinda stone by then. didnt know what to do. so i think i was one of e "trouble-makers" one of those who couldnt give their answer.. but i wenta watch e movie in e end still! eagle eye. almost fell aslp halfway thru. haha.

so anyway, here i am, sitting around, not knowing what to do, but not studying. ah i shall start tmr. or later. later.

2008-10-08T21:36:00.003+08:00

CAUTION: weird english????????

its scary how a tiny action, a small lack of action, or, to go to the other extreme, an over display of earnestness can throw everything off balance. scary how such things can destroy everything.

its sad how we can all be living under the same roof, sitting within metres away from each other, but yet know nothing bout the other party. but maybe, we can put all the blame on e walls erected-the real ones and the ones around our hearts, as long as these walls dont come crashing down on us.

its weird how you'd get all fired up and defensive when you see or hear that your friend was ill-treated, but yet feel so vulnerable and hurt when it happens to yourself.

its an absolutely queer world out there. ive just been proven right once again.

i will now thread more cautiously than(then?) ever.

i will now build higher, stronger, sturdier walls.

i will now just sit around, and mug mug mug for my a levels.

i will now just sit around... and wait...

2008-10-03T18:54:00.002+08:00

i think i stepped on another toe again?
a toe belonging to someone UNKNOWN. haha.
thats how good i can get.

words sting.

i think i've almost used up my reservior.
by the time the next one comes, there wont be anymore left.
but anyway, hopefully by then,
i wont need that anymore. eh?

for something like that to happen at a time like this?
it could not have been more utnimely.

2008-09-29T19:59:00.002+08:00

i dont know why.. but i seem to step on pple's toes soooo easily. issit cos im too straightforward and maybe even blunt sometimes? or is it just cause the other party is usually just too sensitive? im not gonna be unreasonable, i think its a mixture of both. this happens smtms and that happens at other times.

its just rather puzzling as to why pple cant just speak out about certain things. most things are not better left unsaid.

2008-09-25T19:38:00.005+08:00

right, i dont know what im doing here blogging cos i dont eggxactly know what i want to blog about. SO MANY RANDOM THOUGHTS. i met lil dee e other day. long time since we went out with only each other. and it was ultra impromtu. like i saw her online, and she went "wanna go for coffee?" i asked when. and she said "now"

NEXT thing i knew, i was getting ready to leave e hse. we wenta central and liangcourt, and combed e jap marts. ahha. found some rather cutes stufffff. and spent lotsa money on food. quite anyway luh. since im supposed to be on a budget. i think we spent like an hour in kino? or 45mins? haha. funneh. IVE KNOWN LIL DEE FOR 6 FRIGGIN YEARSSS! ah someone PLEASE tell me im not growing olddddd. haha.

anyway, we ended e day, sitting by e singapore river and waving to angmohs passing in e lil river taxis. haha. ONE dao-ed us, but the others were rather nice and friendly!

AHHHH LIFES BAD TO ME.

questions unanswered. tempers raised. patience destroyed.

what have we all come to?

one piece of good news though. IM IN E MIDST OF PLANNING SMTH FOR SATURDAY! woo~ haha. hope e plan DOESNT fall through!

THANKS YUWEI FOR E SURPRISE! heh : D

2008-09-21T11:19:00.003+08:00

woo~ i was cleaning my keyboard, and i plucked out some keys. haha. the spacebar had some special metal thing attached, so after trying to pluck it out, i just pushed it back in, den after that, when i started using it again, i realise the spacebar was like WEIRD. it was flimsy. ahah. like cant type properly. k i almost spoilt my keyboard. but still, i managed to fix it. yeah. k rubbish. im bored, i have work to do, but i dont want to do anything. AHHHHHHHHH. bleah.

i await in silence, not knowing
but probably hoping?

i was there. but i wasnt. or was i?

2008-09-18T20:13:00.002+08:00

the word on e tip of everyone's tongue: prelims

it has been there for quite a number of weeks now, but it will not go away. instead, it'll slowly, but surely morph into the words "a levels". isnt that cool? haha.

no not really. we're stuck. glued to this position. doomed for the next month and a half to MUG (i hate that word, i'd rather say study) or to WATCH others mug, and feel guilty, happy, unsure, tensed up, whatever it is you feel (haha this was really a typo! ITS A PUN TOO. ) in the blanks yourself.

right, back to the main topic, prelims. it all started out with everyone gearing up for the once "coming" exams and feeling all anxious about it. then, it was THE exams. and now, its the RESULTS. my class was spared the anxiety and worry since we got all 3 of our h2 papers back on monday. now, all thats left is econs h1. and we're told it wasnt done up to expectations. OH WELLS, i'll just hope for the best.

bah, i improved on my gp. its quite a relief. i wont say im JUMPING WITH JOY and im OVER THE TOP happy. but im sure if i didnt do well, i'd have been utterly disappointed. so thing is, my dad has been really worried bout my gp all this while. cos i havent been doing well. and today, i gave him news that i did prolly ok. GUESS WHAT? first he said good! but then later in the afternoon, he msged me and asked whtr i was happy about it. i said fine alright not bad. that sorta thing. and he replied "i think you can do better"(smth to that extent but i shant quote the exact phrase) IM LIKE, soooooo utterly taken aback. not that it was unexpected, but cant you just let me be happy or at least even satisfied with my results for awhile? UGH IM SO ANNOYED.

all i hope now is that i can AT LEAST replicate this, and possibly even do better for a levels.

in the meantime, i'd just ride e waves~ dont play with me.

headache headache headache.

i have a summary to copy, and an AQ to complete. maybe i'll take tmr's civics to do it. HAHAH.

LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING <3

2008-09-11T17:16:00.002+08:00

what do you do when you find yourself facing something you least expect? i'm sure everyone has their own sets of "perfect ideals" and dreams or what not. but when youre faced with something you totally did not expect to get, or did not foresee yourself with, what will you do? will you face it headlong, go into full throttle and get e best out of it (without considering the possible consequences?)? or will you shy away from the challenge? and what if, the entire trial concerns not only you? do you make your d ecision with the other party in mind? or do you not?
imconfused!
will you ever like something you thought you disliked? will your ideals change? or will it be a source of limitation? =S

BIO PAPER 1 LEFT! the prelims have come and is going away! three weeks zoomed by so fast. time simply flies. but, i'd rather also not be stuck with prelims for forever!! BREATHES a huge sigh of relief. tomorrow we can RELAX! ok most of us already started relaxing since AT LEAST yesterday. haha. but tomorrows e official END! so yep! it means smth.

YOSH!

2008-09-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

INERTIA!

dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study

dont wanna study ECONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.

2008-09-02T21:18:00.003+08:00

D: Summer lovin' had me a blast
S: Summer lovin' happened so fast

D: I met a girl crazy for me
S: Met a boy cute as can be

Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh
T: Tell me more, tell me more
D: Did you get very far?
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
M: Like does he have a car?
E: Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

D: She swam by me, she got a cramp
S: He ran by me, got my suit damp
D: I saved her life, she nearly drowned
S: He showed off, splashing around

Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
F: Was it love at first sight?
T: Tell me more, tell me more
K: Did she put up a fight?
E: Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

D: Took her bowling in the arcade
S: We went strolling, drank lemonade
D: We made out under the dock
S: We stayed out 'till ten o'clock

Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
T: Tell me more, tell me more
P: But you don't gotta brag
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
R: Cos he sounds like a drag
E: shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo- bop bop, YEH

S: He got friendly, holding my hand
D: While she got friendly down in the sand
S: He was sweet, just turned eighteen
D: Well she was good you know what I mean

E: Woah!

Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

E:woo, woo, woo

PL: Tell me more, tell me more
J: How much dough did he spend?
T: Tell me more, tell me more
So: Could she get me a friend?

S: It turned colder - that's where it ends
D: So I told her we'd still be friends
S: Then we made our true love vow
D: Wonder what she's doing now

Summer dreams ripped at the seams,
bu-ut oh, those su-ummer nights....

2008-08-31T16:59:00.002+08:00

tictoctictoctic
times running out.

i like fairytales. not so much reading them, but more like watching them. so sweet! hahaha.
i am bored.
i am consistently tired.
times running out.
i shld change my dogs name to YOU! haha. i keep going to him and saying stuff likeee " YOU! why are you here? " "you! why are you all wet?!" "Youyou you!"
i sound like a bad owner now. haha.

enrique iglesias is hot. i keep watching antm.
BLEAH!

goes back to sleep

2008-08-17T22:22:00.002+08:00

'the more u know, the more u forget'
'the more u forget the less you know"
'so why study?'

weirong sang that to me online many days ag o. hha. apparently, his gf sang it to him. so he was passing it on to me. but obviously, i could hear nth. haha. andddddd i decided to post it in view of the looming prelims. tmr's D-DAY btw. and im still struggling with work... watching e olympics here and there.. couldnt resist watching synchronised swimming, altheletics and gym! BAH. im so dead. hahahaha.

ok i actually continued with e paragraph above and blabbered on with so much more things. but I TOOK IT ALL AWAY cos it may not be so nice? orrr rather pple may not like it. haha. whatever. im going crazy. so

SEE YA EVERYONE TMR IN SCHOOL! HOPE WE ALL DO WELL MANXXXXXXXXX.

gp. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-08-14T19:35:00.007+08:00

I just posted an entry I wrote on the 7th of August but didn't post.

I dont really know what to say. Oh ok, let's talk about why I'd rather have loved and lost, then to not love at all. I don't actually even know the answer to that! Bah. I think the most important reason is probablyyyyyyy, me wanting to know what it feels like. Ok i make myself sound like some love-deprived sicko or something. hahaha. But its different isn't it?

I lent Miss Lee my spoilt pencil today and she catapulted it HAHA. xD

I didn't speak to Estella today cos she was absent from school.

I was supposed to study after school, but the lack of sleep got the better of me and I SLEPT LIKE A PIG INSTEAD. So much for trying to study.

I got engaged to Ploy. My dad asked why he wasn't informed. Dee was sad that she's not the person i got engaged to. DEEEE, MAYBE, it'll be your turn in another day, another lifetime. Either that, or I can break my engagement with Ploy. haha. But she'll kill me xD

I am going for dinner at Shokudo tomorrow night, despite er prelims being less than two weeks away. (: i LOVE me! I plan to restrict my spending to FIVEdollars or less. According to Jasmine, that's POSSIBLE!

I think I shouldn't go to school tomorrow. But I like chem tutorial! That's the only thing I like ; (

mylovelyladysssss

i have the other half of the centre pic! hah.

jerome, naomi, me, glady, dee ( BirthDAY GIRL ), kwanchiu, vivien, weirong.

LIL DEE'S 18TH! that was approx 0015 of 3rd aug? ok this is grossly overdue. but our plan sorta failed! ~~we were too smart by dee.~~ (what the) we were outsmarted by dee! she sensed smthhhh when her dad kept questioning her bout smth. hahah.

that night, i didnt dare ask my mum bout staying over! cos she er called me and DIRECTLY asked where i was and stuff. so she came to pick me up. the rest sans naomi stayed and PLAYED PS3 : ( nvm i had my bed. HAHA. andd the day after, we had korean bbq! woah ultra filling. haha. the uncle gave us normal plastic chops and we asked for metal korean ones instead! woo~

BIG HUGS!

i shall embark on a new m ission. i'll carry my lil rubbish of a camera around school, and take pictures! for the sake of remembrance! : D great idea!

2008-08-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

i'd rather have loved and lost..

2008-08-07T21:32:00.004+08:00

8/7/08

I remember, around this time two years ago, or maybe slightly later into the year, we started talking about how our secondary school life was, how we'd miss our school, friends, teachers, about all the wonderful memories and of course, the impending O Levels. Honestly, as I mentioned like two years ago, the memories weren't all that happy and experiences not too friendly. But we made it through! The end result was really unexpected but I'm not complaining! : D

Fastforward two years, and this time we're taking our A Levels instead of our O's. Will it be the same this time around? Will I be able to do as well? Will I leave SAJC with the same emotions and feelings as when i left Zhonghua? Will it just be the beginning of another long treacherous journey? Ah, the fear of the unknown. The questions that have no answers, or rather, the questions we will have to find the answers to ourselves. I hope the answers I find are the right ones. I seriously do. But, there's no such thing as a correct answer is there?

2008-08-06T20:42:00.002+08:00

I read about such stuff in books, I watch the scenes on movies and sometimes, very seldomly, even hear a little about such stories from friends. I'm sure this happens to everyone else too. You read about it so much and watch the stories unfold so many times, that you sometimes just wish that the story of the character you're learning about is your own story. However, that never happens. Fiction and imagination can never come to life. Not unless someone bothers to mimick it and that rarely happens. Even if it does, it never is the same is it?

Aaaahhhh, maybe too much of such stuff isn't good for us. It brings out the idealist in everyone. Makes us hope for things that are unattainable, brings our expectations sky high and then BOOOM, at the end of the day, we just realise that such things do not exist. But then again, we need this sometimes. We need such stimulation such hope to bring us through torturous days. How many times do we tell ourselves that things will get better, and that our time just isn't here yet? What we're best at, at the end of the day, is lying. We're best at bluffing ourselves. We're so good at it that we cannot truly differentiate truth from lie anymore.

this post is rubbishy. SEEYAARD. im gonna hafta start studying. cos everyone is already doing so, and liek denise said, everyone is in panic mode, and those who are not in panic mode are beginning to panic that they are not in panic mode. unfortunately, i belong in the second category : D

thats all folks! stay happy and healthy and rock on! x)

2008-08-05T20:04:00.002+08:00

these two weeks have been EVENTFUL. to me they have anyway. so many things have happened........ desensitizedddddd.

ANYWAYS, saturday was ASEAN dance! i actually contemplated for quite some time about whether or not to go for the dance.. cos it was 26 dollars at first, at fullerton. but in the end, they reduced the price to 20 dollars! haha. so yep. there there, i took the bus from the hostel with the scholarmates! haha. aiya i dont know la. it was a WEIRD NIGHT. seriously. harry gave me a rose. thanks! haha.

then after asean dance, i took e bus with the scholars back to boon keng, and rushed to denise's house. TO SUPRISE HERR. but, it was sorta a failure cos she suspected smth.... and at close to 12, she opened her window, looked out and saw us. SAD.

yadayadayadayada. lazytocontinue.

ONE.

2008-08-01T19:14:00.002+08:00

1)annoying

2)childish

3)petty

4)immature

5)selfish

6)attention seeking

7)insensitive

8) BUT LOVELY! =S

2008-07-29T19:24:00.003+08:00

sunday night was a disaster of epic proportions.

i had a terrible time.

the look of disbelief pasted on their faces.

whats so wrong with that?

and everything was just made worse by what HE said. oh ilovehim so.

i dont know what to say anymore manxxxxxxx.

rain poured and the clouds disappeared. but, the black stars remain! (NO CONNECTION TO WHATEVER STAR EHH.....)

stayed home on monday, but i actually think my nose is worse now then yesterday. this is the second time in a month that im really falling sick! sigh whats wrong with meeeeee? dad just came to talk to me, he noticed the change in my voice and he said i wasnt getting enough sleep or rest rather..

yada yada yada yada

would you rather have loved and lost, or not love at all?

members greenday obviously arent fans of liverpool. they WALK ALONE.

sexaye voice.
BYE.
im not a fan of liverpool either.

2008-07-24T20:24:00.004+08:00

so many things are going through my head right now, i dont even know what i want to say! but to make up for the weird and TERRIBLY short post before, i shall blog more! hahahah. ok this may not actually be even smth yo uwant. but whatever. glady says she smtms dont understand what im saying. or maybe most of the time.. hahaha! but NVM! : P

schools been really scary, and ive suddenly been able to just ACCEPT things.. its like sometimes i think the things i say and the things i do dont really have any positive effects.. its either negative or totally useless. and when its negative, its just usually a backlash on myself.. so what's the point in really saying everything in my mind eh? yes i have ALOT to say.. cos i always find myself thinking differently from others.. (most of the time anyway) but i dont really have to say everything. all i have to do is to know what im doing and why im doing so, and say whats needed, when its needed or asked for. besides, they all say that the empty vessel makes the most noise. so im essentially doing myself and others a favour by speaking only when really spoken to ya?

ANYWAY, HIGHLIGHT! ocip is OVERRR. i feel so sad. my term in ocip is OVER. yes i wasnt in exco, i wasnt really a big shot or anything. but it really was an experience of a lifetime. i wont say ive become a really better person after the entire trip, but it had an impact on me. definitely. though i cant exactly point them out, i just know that the entire experience was heartfelt.

camp was interesting. we didnt start off on the really right foot, but i think we stepped it up after the debrief at night. i was feeling quite sad after the debrief. but at the end of it all, im just really glad that we managed to change our tones and right our wrongs the following day. somehow, i feel like ive done something! as much as you want to believe, it really does make me happy to see the j1s now ard in school. no not when i point them out and say "oh shes from ocip, hes from my grp" that sorta thing.. more like when they acknowledge me, and say hi to me. dont know how many of you would believe me. but yea.

big sigh. its over.

my left eye is twitching. what does that mean?

i think im schizophrenic. ok no, i dont REALLY think im schizophrenic. but you get the idea la. im sorry i lash out at pple just like that and treat others VERY WELL smtms... but alot of times, somehow it just comes out in frustration. or smtms its just, i dont knowwwwwwww. i dont know whyyyyyyyy. im terribly sorry, pple who have suffered my er wrath. i dont actually think its a wrath but, some of you may think so. haha im so used to pple thinking im fierce and angry that smtms now i'll just even clarify myself and go "im not angry ya.. im just saying.. blah blah blah" BUT YES. im glad theres pple who sorta understand me. most pple who think im fierce or angry, just dont really know how to handle me i guessing. by thinking so, a tiny void may already have formed between us? one i cannot just fill in myself..

i feel as if im blaming everyone else and not myself by saying all this.. but the truth is, if you dont already know, it gets to me. it really does. outwardly, i prolly just seem like a totally heartless and cold creature.. but! theres always a but somewhere, so yea. fill it in? haha.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOL!->>SCREAMS OUT LOUD! someone send me back to the maldives. i wanna scream. scream out to the open sea!

2008-07-21T17:35:00.000+08:00

yo.

2008-07-14T21:05:00.001+08:00

Jojo, What else ? says:
working at the galerie is hard ^^
&&&sparkle smvpS says:
i'd rahter that!!!!
White_Playmobile says:
you are welcome
Jojo, What else ? says:
if you think so
&&&sparkle smvpS says:
haha ok! one day i shall go down!
&&&sparkle smvpS says:
and take a look!
Jojo, What else ? says:
^^ you will work ? not just take a look
White_Playmobile says:
jojo is a monster
&&&sparkle smvpS says:
hahah! i can try! if i have the time. haha
&&&sparkle smvpS says:
why is he a monster?
White_Playmobile says:
he shouldnt make girl work hard
Jojo, What else ? says:
dunno ^^
White_Playmobile says:
like carrying
White_Playmobile says:
heavy things
Jojo, What else ? says:
i never said that
White_Playmobile says:
yes you did

funny brothers.

2008-07-14T20:07:00.001+08:00

its only monday today,
yet i feel like ive been through the most tiresome week ever.

will this never end?

2008-07-12T17:46:00.012+08:00

i have my hmwk in front of me, under my arms (cos i stretch out to type on the keyboard) haha. but i realised i havent blogged about maldives! i shall give you some pictures to HOPEFULLY feast your eyes on, cos i seriously doubt my ability in photography..

i realise my photos are really ugly. and im kinda in a weird mood. cos i keep thinking of random stuff.. so, bye.

2008-07-12T10:37:00.003+08:00

whats the point in beign right eh.

at the end of the day, im branded the biggest fool.

maybe its best to just BE a fool.

i'll shut it

lalala

somehow, ive gone past the stage of feeling sad.. anyway, i expected it. in a sense.
whats the point in being right?

2008-07-10T00:12:00.005+08:00

OHMYGAWD. dbsk AND hot song. COOL CHANGMIN AT THE LAST TWENTY SECS. AHH. meltsssssssss. ok cools down.

AWW! H.O.T

2008-07-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

i dont understand me. zzzzzz

ANYWAY, yesterday, we went on a PICNIC! hahaha. it was like an idea born out of haloscan! how random. but dee suggested it. due to er unforeseen circumtances however, only four of us girls could make it. sooo yep! we went! we werent blessed with like good weather. so we were rather apprehensive. like it rained while we were on our way there.. and so at the picnic, we had like umbrellas ready, in case it rained again. but but but! luckily, it didnt rain anymore. the sun even came out after awhile.

butbutbut vivi had to leave for tuition halfway. so she left! glady dee and i decided to go to SERANGOON GARDENS for yoghurt. haha. my first time trying like normal flavoured yoghurt. but not the actual yoghurt la.. theee yammi yoghurt kind!

the realyl nice thing bout yesterdays outing was the last part. dee glady and i sat at some playground at serangoon gardens and just talked for about like three hours. haha. we sat on the top of this rope climbing thing thats shaped like a hemisphere. our butts acheddd like siao. but then we talked bout stuff! it was nice! haha.

somehow, we're so similar. like as in not really character wise, or how we really view things. but like the phase of life we're at, i dont konw! ok weird. but aiya just alot of similarities. like IMAGINE, a grp of spinsters sitting tgt cos they are all spinsters kinda thing? haha. but then we didnt get tgt cos we're like single no. we were friends since sec school! denise and i went through HELL AND HIGH WATER and SURVIVED. glady and i, hahah we're funny friends. vivi wasnt thereee : P and yesterday, glady learnt smth new! about me..

ok crap. i am ntoreally talking about anything impt or whatever. just RANDOM points.

ohhh on friday, mandy and estella came over to play guitar heroes! haha

today, my cousins came. and we played guitar heroes for awhile too. and tmr, im gonna meet my cousins!

im mentally unstable, crazy, retarded, and according to vinnie, ive recently turned FUNNY. alright so come all ye and laugh at the funny stuff i say, or at me. anything.

2008-07-02T00:24:00.001+08:00

im going crazy. HOW.

2008-06-30T19:10:00.001+08:00

OMG!

2008-06-22T20:52:00.001+08:00

firstly, i feel light headed, secondly, i feel tired. thirdly ***T school.
\

maldives was great.

2008-06-14T11:48:00.003+08:00

wooo~ ive been MIA-ed for quite awhile i think. who visitssss anyway? haha

SO SO SO SO i went to thailand last week from tuesday to thursday. a very short trip. but extremely fruitful in terms of shopping. haha. godma and i seriously walked the entire wednesday. andd ate alot too. holidays are bad.

and next week on tuesday, im going to maldives! going with godma and godpa, ethan and jonathan. i cant wait. looking forward to it actually. but the days preceeding the trip are killing me! why? because, i have exams after the holidays and since im going on holiday next week, im supposed to be studying like hell now, smth im not exactly doing. and theres work like the gp folio whihc i havent started. whats worse (or good for the matter)

FANGIRL CRAZE 2 STARTED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ OHMY CHANGMIN!!!!!! glady prolly understands. hahahaha! official favourite song of the moment,

LIES BY BIG BANG! 거짓말 KUHJITMAL!

lalala. im bringing them to ~~korea~~ maldives i mean, with me on my ipoddy!!!! woo.

wenta watch narnia yesterday. ULTRA FUNNY. haha. glady has a new bf. and kc cant stand parts of the movie. glady only wants susan to go back to school. haha. jerome, sat too far away.

2008-06-10T19:09:00.001+08:00

im feeling the heat. i dont think i can finish everything by THE TIME I HAVE TO. WTH WTH WTH DIE.

2008-06-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

i deserve to be shot.

2008-05-30T20:39:00.002+08:00

boo. if anyone ever wants to tag, please know that the taggy thingy is the aeroplane thingy. haha. cossssssssssss pple tell me that i don thave a tagboarddd. which i dont, but i have smth that serves the same purpose :)

daydreaming. its a fun thing to do. its fun to envision yourself doing things that you know you cant do, where you are however you are. its fun to dream of thigns that may never ever happen. haha. you can be blissful for that few minutes!!! -dreams-

sooooooooooo PLOYYYY!!! heres where your name appears!! haha. ploy is a funny girl.
we've recently become closer, so now i know her better and know more bout herrr and her heritage too. sort of la. theres still alot more to learn though! its quite interesting. ahha. its funny how such things happen. i mean its almost a coincidence how we got closer to each other. so its funny how such a small thing can lead to the formation offfffffffff smth so meaningful. ok im weird. haha.

bah tmr im going for theeeee preparation for the famine camp! gonna join in as a facilitator! anddd lynn couldnt go at the last minute so i'll be going myself. i hope i hope i hope REALLY REALLY REALLY hope i wont feel weird or be lonely! bah this is somewhat like how i felt before ocip. ABIT ABIT. but ocip i had pau and steph. this i have no oneee. in both cases, i didnt know what to expect. so. AHH

PRAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

2008-05-21T21:28:00.005+08:00

as with all times, im sitting here by my desk, typing this silly little thing out whilst neglecting my work. but heck, there's better things in life than that. we should all learn that..

i have not any idea whether what i am going to say will make any sense to anyone but me. neither do i know whether anyone will think weirdly of what i am going to write. just read on if you wish, otherwise, just leave it alone and hurry along with what other more important stuff you have to complete.

anyway, i read k's blog, and her beautiful words just inspired me so. inspired me to do what, im not so sure yet. but the way her description brought life to her words, the way her words brought feeling to the passage, ah, i can never mimic that. try as i may, try as i might, the words dont seem to flow so nicely out of me. i've never been one who's sure of how she's feeling and i doubt i will ever be. to me however, k seems to know how shes feeling, seems to understand herself and she seems to know whats lacking in her life or what part of her life she wants more of. things i find difficult to simply just put into words, she can explain for me.. i dont have to explain much when i speak to her. most seems understood! haha. and for all anyone knows, im glad shes here, and im here.

cheerios.
cheerios to life. cheerios to all the trouble we take to make sense of life. cheerios to the amounts of joy we experience in the process. cheerios to all the suffering that make the happiness seem oh, so much better. cheerios to you and me for enduring, for pressing on..

i was at e saint alumni art competition exhibition last night. and my godpa asked me which was my favourite piece. i considered two. both werent exactly paintings. i cant describe properly. haha. but i shall attempt to. the first was like a giant hollow wood cylinder you can walk into. painted white outside, the artist used acrylic paint to paint pretty pinkish red roses on the inside. it was a really pretty piece. the other, was a longish art piece. like just several many a3 sized paper pasted adjacent to the next piece. i liked this better. the artist used words, swirly wirly words to describe her feelings. these words were accompanied by just tiny paintings.. drawings.. and together these words and drawings made up the art piece. told godpa i preferred the second one and he pointed to the 1st, asking me why i didnt choose that. i said that its cos i liked the way the second artist used words to complement her drawings and to express her thoughts. so subtle but so impactful!

i tried to follow my dad's advice, and to put it all behind me. it doesnt really matter how we do it now. no it doesnt. its the end result that counts. its not easy. i cant just ignore. but i will try. to put things aside. not to let them bother me. with certain people, i feel additionally pressured. with others, not so. how i wish i felt the same way with everyone. i dont want to let anything come between my friendships. im trying. im trying. but maybe its just me, i let my emotions, feelings and thoughts take control, allow them to affect my choices, my state of mind and eventually the things i say. making myself seem unappreciative. cold. insensitive. and in actuality, i may just be building a stonewall around myself, distancing myself away from the very people i try to get closer to..

but as im trying, dont mistake me. listen to my plea, im not angry all the times youve all thought i was. its merely frustration/irritation, fuelled by your "dont angrys", as ironic as it may seem. i may not show it in the conventional way, but many times i think i voice my disappointment in the ways you'd least expect anyone to.

ahh life. why is it that we all crave to be understood? we too try to understand others, but can we really accomplish that?

i'll try..

2008-05-17T10:04:00.003+08:00

right, so i havent blogged in what a week. haha. i dont really feel like typing out longwinded and boring recountings of the past week. so i've decided that i'll just POST PICTURES! long due pictures, pictures from the not too distant past, and just simply pictures...! hahha.

oh before that, i think im gonna talk bout smvp, like what kinda pple they are..

Vinnie is the nanny goat who recently started digging up stories of the past and writing them for the world to seeeee.
Mandy is the self proclaimed guy-hater, which is (i think) just her own way of reverse psychology-ing herself to believe so.
Pauline is on the other hand, THE magnet of members of the opposite sex (not that mandy or vinnie dont have their fair share as well, but their powers MAY pale in comparison to that of this wonder child).
Stephanie, ahhh shes special, her heart longs for one. And ONLY one, the ONE. Maybe we'll try to replace him one day.

bah my sec school friends are also a bunch of funny peeps.
dee is kc's wife. but kc is an adulterer and has a mistress outside home.
and for some reason, kc's relationship with glady is a special one. they always scold each other, takl bad bout each other. but when they argue, their words seem to carry much care and concern for each other!
weirong, is the weird one! haha ok not weird weird in the conventional way, but weird as in like the questions he brings up are unconventional, but not totally random and unfounded.. i dont know... haha.
vivien is ultimate weirdnest in the conventional way la. WHATS YOUR BROTHER'S NAME CAN TELL ME?! i think glady would LOVE to know as well. dee too. wr too.
jerome, he got tricked by my friend the other day! haha. =x

PICTURES!

dorama...

davids hse, baking...

i havent uploaded pictures from the RUGBY match yet.. ANTOHER TIME DEN.

bye..

2008-05-09T22:18:00.003+08:00

And must love that comes in dreams necessarily be unreal?
For there is no lack of dream lovers in this world.
Only for those whose love must be fulfilled on the pillow,
and for whom affection deepens only after retirement from office,
is it an entirely corporeal matter.

The flowers will not be fragrant, nor the butterflies fly for me.

2008-05-08T22:14:00.003+08:00

Love is of source unknown, yet it grows ever deeper.
The living may die of it, but by its power the dead live again.
Love is not at its fullest if one who lives is unwilling to die for it,
or if it cannot restore to life one who has died.

You come to me in a dream.
I am flooded with thoughts of what should have been..

A sudden sob wakes me from my dream.
alone again

2008-05-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

how come other people get all the chances?!?!

bleah. its gonna be my turn SOON! IT HAS TO BE!

2008-05-05T21:55:00.002+08:00

monday 5th may: chem spa
tuesday 6th may: math mock paper
thursday 8th may: bio respiration test (econs tutorial, one case study and essay to complete)
monday 12th may: econs msa
tuesday 13th may: chem mock paper
thursday 15th may: bio mock spa

the teachers are so kindly adding onto the list so frequently. im kinda tired of adding onto my own list manually. maybe i'll just forget one or two and not bother? sounds cool.

SHOOT ME. i know others have it worse off. but everyone has different limits la. i just happen to hate having to work hard just cos im a weird being. ignore me, and just carry on thinking im angry (: its so disappointing. but OH WELLS. i'll shut my trap.

BYE WORLD. how i wish i can just drop everything and E SCAPE.

2008-05-04T21:50:00.002+08:00

oh what the..

2008-04-28T21:32:00.002+08:00

i want to lay in a big field of green long grass, and just stare into the sky in the day with that special someone.

just lay there, taking in the light breeze, feeling the warmth from the sun, being contented to just have time with each other.

maybe, we'll embrace and dennn an airplane with zoom by and leave a trail in the sky!

bleah dreamings. wake me up. dreams dont come true. its all just ideals and imagination.

2008-04-26T14:50:00.002+08:00

i watched the other boelyn girl yesterday. it was an nc16 show. the ticket saler didnt check our ics and stuff la. but when we were going into the cinema, my friend gave the person our tickets. the person looked at the tickets, and at me, den she asked me to show her my IC.. bleah. i must look young. haha.

a dying dad gave this piece of advice to his daughter. its regarding boyss and dating:
dont care about what they say, just pay attention to what they do.

i think its quite true. not totally true, but theres some sense in it. its always the girls who get taken in by words. i think for us, simple words mean alot and they sting easily too. but for guys, words dotn mean much to them. they can just say smth without really meaning it. which isnt necessarily good.. anddddd its so true that after a relationship, the girls the one who rmbs everything and holds on somehow..

2008-04-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

301st post!

its beyond me why im letting all this happen.
its beyond me why all this is even happening.
its beyond beyond beyond me .
beyond control? maybe not though.

EXASPERATION!

2008-04-23T21:05:00.004+08:00

sometimes when i joke about things, they're not meant to be ONLY taken as jokes..
sometimes when i seem angry, its mostly just cos im annoyed..
sometimes when i laugh too much, i am going crazy.

pkh just called me a big fat slacker. i shall hold my peace.

2008-04-19T19:15:00.006+08:00

man of the moment: MIG AYESA.

no hes not all that tall, no he doesnt have a FAB build. BUT BOY DOES HE HAVE CHARISMA. hahahahah! ok he has nice abs too. OH AND HE CAN SING AND HE CAN DANCE! and he makes girls scream.

SO, guess where i found him??

I WATCHED THE WE WILL ROCK YOU MUSICAL! i loveddddd it! im not a big queen fan or anything. but i've listened to their songs before. liked three or four alot. and heard plenty others along the way.. but never really identified with queen. but the whole musical was SUPERB! the audience was engaged, they added some funny singaporean stuff. likeee the man character, galileo said "sorry LAH" which got the audience laughing quite a bit. wonder how the actors kept their faces straight after that man! haha.

and and and, they almost ended the show without singing bohemian rhapsody! which actually they did sing in the end, and it was a FANTABULOUS performance! they couldnt have ended without singing that song !!

i <3 this version of the song!!

lola, la la la la lola..

i wonder, i won der, i w o n d e r

2008-04-12T23:42:00.005+08:00

my lovely family

and my desperate attempt at being taller.

2008-04-10T20:45:00.003+08:00

BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH BLAH BLEAH

today, i made a sudden realisation. i have no idea how it stru ck me.. but its quite a big realisation. suddenly i feel im such an ugly person.

RARRR my minds all clogged up.. WHATEVERR.

2008-04-09T21:47:00.001+08:00

So now we're flying, we're free

We're free before the thunderstorm

On towards the wilderness our quest carries on

Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight

Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

So far away we wait for the day

For the lights are so wasted and gone

We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days

Through the fire and the flames we carry on

2008-04-08T19:25:00.006+08:00

the seamonkeys hvae hatched! i think their birthday is the 6th of april? or 7th april. haha. either one. estella has requested that i name on of them after her! ahha. sooo right now, theres pauline, mandy, stephanie, vinnie, brandon, kah hwee, raphael, wanying and estella swimming around in that small tank with greenish water. i worry for their safety, for my brother has been plotting to kill them! hahaha. hes been threatening me. its so funny.

anyway, i got caught in the rain today. i was DRENCHED TO THE BONES! like even the school shorts underneath my skirt was wet.. i nearly slipped and fell down the stairs while climbing the overhead brigde, and i nearly ran into a drain. haha. cos i was trying to run home as fast as possible.. oh and along the way, i splashed into some puddles! haha. accidentally. but it was fun! splashing puddles. so yea my shoes got all wet. oh wells. wet day, wet stephanie.

i wonder, at the end of my life, whether my memories of how i lived my life will be filled with the wonderful things ive done/achieved, or with my inactions? i never get myself to do anything. somethings just wrong with my brains. the world should be rid of such an error of nature..

i wish i were a fish. i'd swim around in the vast ocean in schoals, explore the depths of the sea, enjoy time with my fellow fishies. and when the time comes, a bigger fish, or some other predator will come eat me. then i might just have a purpose.. to participate in the food chain..

just colour my life grey, blue, black.

bum bum bum bum bum, bums away!

2008-04-06T17:38:00.010+08:00

RIGHT! several funny things happened last week. haha. mostly on friday.

1) during bio pract, miss wong was teaching us about skill A and the topic was on testing out how pH affects the rate of reaction of amylase. so she asked how we shld test the amount of glucose in the mixture. den pauline and i replied the exact SAME THING " take out, extract" there was even a slight puase between take out and extract. haha. ok nonsense

2) also on friday, we had a skirt check. ughhh nonsensical people with their non existent skirts! its all their fault that we have to content with checks time and again. i dont think my skirst THAT short, but its not that long either.. but still i got caught, cos i couldnt liek pull it down any further or antyhign. sooo, estella, sandra and i had to go to the innovation room after the check along with the other girls who got caught. it was kinda funny. cos some pple had like super long skirts. hahaha. andd so, the three of us sat on a table, and unpicked our skirts.. dont konw how i was holidng the unpicker, but i managed to like scratch my thigh! like one small streak. and during that time, i heard miss ng actually say she forewarned her own class! how unfair! anyway, the point in making us unpick was to like make us walk ard school with ugly hems/tiered skirts! mine was esp long and tiered after unpicking! but, following pris and pau's advice, i bought tape and taped up my skirT! hahaha.

3) since the trip to toys r us last saturday, ive been thinking of getting seamonkeys! haha. even tried serachign for them last sunday with my dad. hahahaha. but couldnt find any. so anyway, friday i was trying to er psycho wanying to get me some. and that day, pau actually asked everyone to chip in and buy me one!! THANKS YOUS ALL SOOO MUCHHHH!!! : DDD soo my seamokeys are now happily growing.. they'll be named after you guys. hahaha. PAULINE, MANDY, STEPHANIE, VINNIE, WAN YING, RAPHAEL, KAH HWEE, BRANDON!

4) we had a scholarships prep course on sat. kinda boring. haha. den went otu with glady! she had to buy a dress for her sister's wedding and so i went with her! she found one she liked, but there was no size : ( dennn i was kidna tired and didnt really want to join them for dinner. but glady like dragged me all the way to amk. she refused to let go of my arm! haha. soo she held on to me from far east to amk. i wonder why she was so afraid that i'd run away. it must have been difficult for you glady! hahaha. always beign the one who has to drag me everywhere!! sooo yesterday's dinner was theeee 1st time we had full attendance? haha. jerome, weirong, kc, vivi, glad, dee, me!

5) jerome got tricked by me last night. haha. he has bad memory, and he couldnt rmb how my brother looked like! soo he asked me who the person on my dp was. anddddddd i wanted to like see how long he'll take to realise the person is my brother. haha. so i told him hes my bf.. since like last year. but i kept it quiet and didnt tell anyone. so jerome being jerome, asked me to bring my bf along one day! haha. and he asked what his name was.. this was what i said.

me: samuel

jerome: isnt that your brothers name??

me: HAHAHHAHAH!

sorry jerome! haha. you tricked me REALLY badly the other time tooo! it was worse than this la. plus you tried to trick glady. haha. using that stupid "im in love with you" trick : PPP

6) my mum went out. and she called to see whtr we wanted any snack. sooo shes coming home with famous amos cookies!!!

7) ... ... ... ... ... .. ....

BYE!

2008-04-03T20:57:00.001+08:00

i will get my seamonkeys!

2008-04-02T23:06:00.001+08:00

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

2008-03-31T18:53:00.002+08:00

if, i were to be kidnapped today, who will pay for my ransom.?

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

2008-03-30T12:58:00.004+08:00

rarrr! im here. with LOTSA random thoughts. anyway, i shall just blog bout tmr.

no i mean yesterday. haha. vinnieeeee asked me out on friday! i was kinda happy cos i was actually thinking of going out too! and we sorta asked the polo guys too. billy agreed to go, yk turned down the invitation on the spot. pkh, he said he'll see what time he woke up.. so we planned to meet at 2. and pkh said that he wouldnt go... IMAGINE IF HE DIDNT GO YA, poor stephy will be STUCK with billy and vinnie, aka mr and mrs goat. i'll be soooo extra.. they'd be talking, lovey dovey-ing and i'd be walkign alone! so, mr potato went in the end..

ate at waraku restaurant. wasnt as good as it seemed. when stephy an dvinnie try to have a meal together, the process of selecting a restaurant is quite horrendous.. haha. things i eat, she dont eat. things she eat, i dont eat. den den den we caught the 545 show of horton!! its SUPER FUNNY! between lunch and the movie, we had e xtra time. sooo we wenta the arcade and played bishi bashi. me vs vinnie. DEN HER GOAT HELPED HER! and they sorta "combined forces". how unfair....!

oh and after th emovie, we went to toys r us. we spent slightly more than an hour in there. wonder how we did that. vinnie found a new hp, and kaka found a new face.

ok end of outing.

its kinda funny, how everytime when i go for family dinners or family stuff with my mums side of the family, i always see/spot my cousins wearing some of my old clothes! haha. i rmb the other day, when i wenta my uncle's new hse, i was looking through my cousins wardrobe going "was this mine?" my mum was there too. haha. and i saw quite a few of my old dresses! haha.

anyway, gordon has gone home! hes so funny laaaaaaa. aiyoo but he needs to grow up abit!

-who will realise it when im gone?

2008-03-27T22:33:00.005+08:00

can i kill myself?

im lost for words. why can some people just do everythign while others not? why does some people get eevrything and others get none? things just go so smoothly for some. right? or does it just seem so only?

just what are you tryign to do to me? UGH! why am i like sooooooooo freakingggggg stupid!?!?!? like what the hell, get over it already.

my language is crap.

you all hate me. i hate myself too! : D im useless. yes im serious. you just dont know what its like..

2008-03-25T21:04:00.002+08:00

lifes so unfair!!!

today was a funny day. we wenta support our polo firends at their match against rj! they didnt win, but thats not the point la. its the process that counts! it was quite sad though, only 4 of us girls from sa came to support them. haha. we were like saying the polo team has only 4 friends. ahha. but at the end of the match, the players all lined up facing us and gave us a bow! haha. im sure it was alvin's idea. it was super funny. liek we didnt expect that. and when exactly do you get 13 more than half naked guys lined up and bowing to you? haha!

anyway, my class is supposed to have TWO new students. but so far, only one came. haha. her names estella. i was talking to her quite abit during lectures today. haha. shes nice. wonder how the other person is like, and whtr that person will even come to school! maybe she/he has decided that he doesnt want to retake the A levels anymore. from what i heard, its a she anyway.

the world is a queer place! i can never figure it out.

yawns.

2008-03-24T20:36:00.024+08:00

WOOO so the BTs are over!! since like several days ago actually. but i havent had the time, nor the mood to blog! but here i am now!

wed was our last paper! math paper! we all thoguht it was difficult! and it issssssssss. dennn after the paper, we went out to celebrate? ahha. i skipped dinner with my family. decided that i wont really be like missed out or antyhing anyway, so didnt go. haha. haddddd thai express! den wenta watch STEP UP 2! the guy is like absolutely hot. haha! hes ULTRA tall. and danced good! but i think channing tatum danced better..

dennnnn thurs, met up at like 930 for breakfast with mandy and kaka! brought my couz gordon along cos he'd be alone at my home otherwise.. denn caught the 11 o'clokc show of sky of loveee with smvps, billy and kaka. it was a NICEEEE MOVIE. i loved it. its really nice. i think vinnie cried buckets of tears. i er cried too. but maybe not that much. and oh, we almost had the whole theatre to ourselves cos most pple were at school and work. ahha.

after the movie, gordon and i zoomed home. cos we were going to bintan! had to b e home to do some last minute packing! ahha. den off we were to bintan! stayed till sunday! went with godma, godpa, ethan and their friend's family.. heres some pics.

on the way there in the ferry!

ethan! preparing to go swim. haha.

our lil kitchenette.

sun burnt! after the first day there. ahha.

oohh and we applied like realll aloe vera! hahaha.

ethan and carl playing in the mini jacuzzi thingy!

after swim milk! thereafter, i tried taking like ALOT of pictures of them. but they kept running away. haha.

gordon doing his er word search thingy. he was a great help. haha. but he was like SOOO paranoid la. scared that his nose will SCAR permanently from the sunburn.......

now its carl and ethan's turn to try to take pics of me.....

dennnn, we went off to CATCH CRABS/FISHES!

ethan usually dresses better. hahahah. but he looked SUPER FUNNY like that! hahahahah!

i remembered smvps!!

there, thats ALOT of pictures. i think. haha. theres actually more but they're all with carl's mother!

ciao!

2008-03-17T20:48:00.003+08:00

right, this is my exam timetable, as of yesterday. notice the two faint crosses on the top left hand corner and bottom right hand corner? one indicates that gp is over, and the other, that i dont have any paper on that day! sooooo as of yesterday, i had like three more days offf BTs..

LOOK AT TODAY! ahha. notice that one extra THICK cross? chemistrys OVERR! tmr, there'll be TWO ADDITIONAL crosses! to cancel out econs and bio! anddddddd one more day and the whole piece of paper will be found in my bin. cant wait.

right, so yo usaw that the timetables like covering my computer screen right? the purpose of it was to liek remind me that i have to study for exams and not use the com. but its kinda useless. cos i just flip it over and start using the com anyway! like this..

im blogging as if i have all the time in the world.....
: D

2008-03-13T15:40:00.011+08:00

right, so im here to blog again. and i cant help wondering whtr anyone ever comes here! haha. its such a funny feeling.

i finished reading the time traveler's wife again. i think thats the third or forth time im reading it? its like i think my favourite book ever! i'll never get bored of it.

yesterday was samuel, my kiddo diddo brother's birthday! had a bbq over at my place.. he said i could ask my friends over. asked quite a few. but only mandy turned up in the end. we tried studying in the day. but it was quite unfruitful. haha.

woo with the shirt i bought him

mahjonggg.

my brothers and i, we have very different friends..

- why do you always go, where i cant follow

2008-03-08T23:31:00.004+08:00

HOOOOOO!

this few days have been quite GOOD for me! things have been going PRETTY well.

so anyway, i got my A level chinese results. i think i did better than expected. i seriously didnt expect anythign like that!

yep! andddd after all that HOO HAA, heartbeating at the speed of light craziness yesterday, i went home and SLPT! haha. and for the first time ever (i think,) i went out with some of my classmates for dinner! got introduced to martin. and ate at shaw aka lido! it was an interesting experience. haha. they played "i have never" and i tried joining in!

dennn, today! i got up at like 12? ahha. got my lazy bum up and cleaned up my shelf! took out LOTSA secondary school stuff. liek all the old tys-es that i tried keeping, but finally found no good reason for me to keep them any longer.. the self looks much neater now. but not that nicely organised. plus, i dont think it'll stay that neat for long. OH WELLS!

ah my grandma got hospitalised again.. this time she has fluid in her lungs. but the funny thing was how we found out she had difficulty breathing.. like it was 2 in the morning? my mum got up cos some alarm started ringing.. she thought it was some car or smth and she couldnt get back to sleep. so she came down, and realised that its our hse alarm.. she switched it off, and heard some funny noise and found out that it was my grand ma la. point is, the alarm rang for like no apparent reason! no one was out, no one broke in or whatever.. and if it didnt ring, smth bad could have happened to my grandma.. so it was quite a good coincidence? =S

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BALONEY!!

wenta celebrate his birthday today! had dinner at spaggedies and caught up with my DEAREST FRIENDS! saw denise after like donno how long! jerome was LATE as usual. but i was tolerant this time round. food wasnt that good.. BUT THEN WE WENTA TAKE NEOPRINTS! haha. first wenta heeren to find the usual np place. but its closed i think. sooo went over to CINE! check out our photos! ahha.

funny funnyy.

OH and at heeren, we saw this sec school senior of ours working at num i think. or some other shop. its quite funny how i seem to see him quite abit? like the other time, he came to my grandpa's shop to change money, and i was there. mum said he sorta recognised me cos he was looking at me?? hahaha. and today i think he recognised us too!

ahhh funny dayyyyyyy! i miss my friends!

2008-03-07T17:16:00.004+08:00

look how nice my 13 year old cousin is!
he said all this when i came online..

wa lao badmiton so tough but it is worth it cauze i loss 1 kg!!!!!! says:
again u
evenstar smvpS says:
what again me!
evenstar smvpS says:
ahah
evenstar smvpS says:
how was school?
wa lao badmiton so tough but it is worth it cauze i loss 1 kg!!!!!! says:
y should i tell u
evenstar smvpS says:
because,
evenstar smvpS says:
im a nice cousin asking you how was school!
wa lao badmiton so tough but it is worth it cauze i loss 1 kg!!!!!! says:
shutup
evenstar smvpS says:
WAH! who was the one who came to talk to me?! now you go offline! HOW NICE OF YOU!!

i wasnt really angry angry. but i was kinda shocked. and,,, it was SO very nice of him eh? haha.

2008-03-06T17:49:00.007+08:00

HO HO HO!

ive come to blog on the EVE of GP paper. which im so gonna fail. i can never do well for gp. i think i shall jsut FORGET about trying to get in law. hahaha. it seems like a very unrealistic goal. and and im now not as sure tht i want to get into law as before.. OH WELLS.

ANYWAYS, PE today was FUN FUN FUN! pe with s10 is HILARIOUS! first, mr khoo asked us how many rounds aroudn the track we want to run for warm ups.. some one said "1 and 2"... so we all had to run 3 rounds in total. but but but me being the me who doesnt really enjoy running (ok that was quite subtle alreayd), i ran only two! haha with shida. haha. he was telling me his life story. eh like what cca he was from last time, his primary school and stuff. hahha!

den den den we played net ball! but with the bball hoop. it WAS SUPER FUNNY! shida came up with this funny formation with me and natasha. and he kept going "stephanie lee stephanie lee!" which natasha started saying after awhile too. haha. plus, everytime the opposite team scores a goal, we'll get into the formation in the hopes of scoring! dont know which team won. but the whole thing was super funny. nat was funny as usual. she said that "tienwei's cool, tienwei's very cool but only when he plays basketball". hahah! anddd raphael like SLIPPED! dont know how? haha.

ahhhhhh GP TMR! THERES NTH I CAN DO TO IMPROVE MY GP IS THERE?! i think i have to start going for consultations with miss leeee! sigh sigh BIG sigh. im going crazy!

random!
i can still waer a shirt i got in p3. haha. but it was rather baggy at that time.
i can still wear shoes i bought in sec 1.
i barely grew. =/

A level chinese results TMR after GP BT paper! which reminds me, i have chem to do. which i prolly will only do tmr after gp since im not really in the mood! i'll feel bad doing chem tonight and not reading gp. hahaha! if that makes any sense to you.. i hope i do good for chinese paper tmr! nostalgia! i rmb last year during the release of o level results! it was scaryyyyy. AND OH! the release of chinese o' level results the year before, when denise jumped up and shouted "A f**k*** ONE!" after getting her results. hahaha.

wonder why im so random today. im like thinking bout all sorts of weird stuff and going all tootsie.

argh pleaseeee someone HELP me write a good essay. and do a good COMPREHENSION!

rarrr i think i editted this like ten thousand times. ahha. not edit as in edit the english, but the content! haha.stolen glances? they dont mean nothing!

2008-03-01T19:14:00.000+08:00

i lost my younger brother.

2008-02-25T19:57:00.001+08:00

"Clothes!"

– Johnny Depp, when asked what he was wearing on the red carpet. Eventually, he gave a straight answer: Armani.

2008-02-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

useless,stupid,crazy,difficult,nonsensical,RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR=me

sometimes, i look ard at people, and wonder why i am so different from everyone else. does that make me weird or am i just different? either way, it doesnt seem to be such a nice feeling sometimes.

shoot me, kill me.