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STEPHANIE

sajc zhss zps
♥s music singing sleeping movies beaches sun yellow orange books friends food fun stripes 4e2'o6 07s12i
Userpics - because they last longer
constance denise eunice gladys jasmine mandy naomi pauline raphael steph vinnie vivien wan ying wennan


Sunday, April 05, 2009
HELLO FRIENDS! friends who visit. haha.

i'm JUMPING SHIP!
Catch me at pumpkinrocks! : D
Friday, April 03, 2009
now more than ever, i think that 24 hours a day is sooooooo not enough. work sucks up every moment of THE DAY. you hardly get to see DAYLIGHT when you're stuck in this stoopid office building for more than 8 hours a day.....!

theyre getting reliant at work. going on holiday and leaving me to deal with three lawyers? o.m.g dont even think about it please! i dont want to have to deal with thattttt : S and taking over at liberty? WORSEEEEEEE T.T

I WANNA QUIT.

But, somethings holding me back. i think i feel badddd. they keep asking me to stayyyyy. even till august! which i totally said i wont. and that the LATEST i will stay is till june. MID june. LATEST LATEST. sighhhhh. did i mention that i hate office politics too?

im going to meet LIL DENISE LATER ONNNN~ oh i took leave today. thats why im blogging here. haha. glady says i have to be influenced by her to be a good girl. maybeeeeeee i have to. HAH.


DAVICHI 8282
만나지 말잔 내 말 연락도 말란 내 말
너 진짜 그대로 할거니 그게 아닌데

이대로 끝일까봐 널 영영 잃을까봐
점점 더 맘이 불안해져 너무 슬퍼져
정이 뭔지 있다가도 그리워 너 없인 못살아

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
지금 바로 전화줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
매일 날 기다려
사랑한다고 사랑한다고
문자라도 남겨줘
날 울리지마 노우 워우 워~

어디서 뭘 하길래 얼마나 바쁘길래
혹시 너 일부러 안받니 난 줄 알면서

벌써 날 잊은거니 마음을 접은거니
날 두고 니가 설마 설마 자꾸 눈물나
정이 뭔지 사랑보다 무서워 지우기 힘들어

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
지금 바로 전화줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
매일 날 기다려

사랑한다고 사랑한다고
문자라도 남겨줘 Oh Oh Oh
날 울리지마 노우 워우 워~

call me Tell me hold me
아니라고~
call me Tell me hold me
가면 안돼~

Gimme a call Baby Babe~
다시 나를 찾아줘
Gimme a call Baby Babe~
할말이 있는 걸

너를 사랑해 너무 사랑해
너를 향해 소리쳐 Oh Oh Oh~
널 기다릴게 노우 워우 워~

call me Tell me hold me
아니라고~
call me Tell me hold me
돌아와줘~

IM JEALOUS. shes only 18 AND SHE GETS TO SING AND SHE KNOWS LEE MIN HO.
how unfair! shit i have to diet. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz im going crazy.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Sunday, March 29, 2009


SU JU'S MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM LIKE NEVER BEFORE MANXXX.
Friday, March 27, 2009
T.T im dying.

i ate breakfast twice today. not because i consciously wanted to. i actually FORGOT i ate breakfast before leaving the house. haha. and when i reached my office,i bought bread and went up. i didnt even realise by myself that i had already eaten actually luh! i only realised after the pantry aunty asked what i was having for breakfast.

oh no.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
work today was SCAREEEE.

the atmosphere was SOOO very tenseeee. office politics sigh. its so tough! it wasnt so bad when i first joined the firm. people were rather friendly with each other. now my secretary/boss is perpetually irritated with the girls from the other department. and i am sooooo weary of it all! i wanna stay out of it as much as i can! but the two departments are rather segregated T.T

besides that, i met this rather SCAREEE looking client. his name is **n s*** leon. woahhh he came to the firm to sign his affidavit. oh my he looked so fierce. i was rather intimidated.. after signing, he just left. like as if he was in A HUGE hurry or smth :S andd i remarked to the receptionist that he looked really fierce and the receptionist replied in the affirmative! hahaha. SCAREEEEYYY.

ahhhhhhh someone please help ameliorate the situation in the office! please reduce the amount of tension. its so scareeeeyyyy.

i faxed something out all the way to British Columbia, Canada todayyyy~ haha. wenta search for the codes and sent out wrongly at first! butttttttt finally got it done on the third try? first two tries i did the same thing.. after the second try i wenta doubleeeee check and seeee whtr the dialing codes were right.

UNI APPS SHOOT ME WHENS SCHOOL GONNA START AH DIE WHEN AM I STOPPING WORK WHATS THIS HAPPENING TO ME WHATS THAT HAPPENING IM SO TIRED BUT MAYBE IF YOU'LL ONLY SING TO ME THIS WONT HAPPEN AH DIE HOW DION GOODNIGHT.
Monday, March 23, 2009
i have this SUDDEN urge to blog. blog about what, i dont really know though.

my minds constantly hovering in a state of dis-satisfaction and unrest.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
i think i went a little crazy today esp at the charles and keith WAREHOUSE SALE. hhahaha. the day was a really turbulent one! and no i didnt go crazy as in the i-bought-4-pairs-of-shoes-and-5-bags kind of crazy, but the really crazy kinda crazy. i told pauline that i could just laugh and cry ON THE SPOT. and i think i really could. but of course, no one does that for the sake of doing it!

this all seems to be one big joke. its like im stuck in a whirlpool forever. and whats worse is that its nto a whirlpool that sucks you in totally and kills you right away. its like, being stuck in a washing machine that never stops spinning! (HAHA) youre stuck and you can never get out.

certain things are just disgusting and should never be condoned full stop.
Friday, March 13, 2009
sometimes i wish our conversations never have to end,
but sometimes i also wish you never were part of anything.

you say there's a special connection.
but does it mean anything?

當你的眼睛瞇著笑 當你喝可樂當你吵
我想對你好 你從來不知道 想你想你 也能成為嗜好
當你說今天的煩惱 當你說夜深你睡不著
我想對你說 卻害怕都說錯 好喜歡你 知不知道

i remember the day, at my house, after a day out, with the television on, you told me the title of a certain song.

you asked, and i told you i wasnt accidentally in love. did i even know?

So I said I'm a snowball running
Running down into the spring that's coming
All this love melting under blue skies
Belting out sunlight Shimmering love
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

maybe you should just leave.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
i'm kinda tired of being second to everyone. the second fiddle. the second to find out. the second ranked. the back up? idk. ah whatever.,

i just dont liek to give my best and see it not being appreciated. fuck ive had enough of that.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
RIGHT YES. theres so much stuck in my head right now! i wish all my thoughts will just spillover into this page and fill up the blog post without me having to consciously organise this whole chunk of mess trapped in the white and grey matterrr. haha.

i wonder what i would do if i were really left alone. by myself for my entire life. ah how would i handle that. its rather daunting that possibility. and not impossible.

-SHRIEKS-

im tiredddd. it rained cats and dogs the entire day. the sky was awfully dark and the thunderclaps were rather/very loud and scary. to think it was still sunny earlier in the day. it was so warm! and then, its like at the snap of the thunder god's fingers, clouds came out and lightning struck! we mere humanlings can do nothing to prevent that!

REALLY hope the weather on thursday will be bright and sunny! stephanie here will TAKE A DAY'S LEAVE FROM WORK and head to ECP with LIL DEE and WR! i need chill out timeeee! hopefully the rest will be willing and able to join us for dinner that night... at the very least.

FXRXIXDXAXYX ARGH!

anywayyyy i chopped off my hair. okay no its not THAT short. but at least, its a change! now that ive taken the first step, i shall be slightly more adventurous next time!

SO STAY TUNED AND GOODLUCK. bye.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
almost a week now, and i think the floodgates have ripened and are probably opening up soon. hahahah. sounds so emo melancholic. but what am i to do what am i to say. nothing ever goes smoothly.

SO, we've probably established that im caught in the middle where, the logical thing to do would be to go forward, but where the practical thing to do would be to either remain stagnant, glued to the spot, or to go backwards. something is holding me back, but is there anything, anything at all nudging me forward?

maybe it just takes time eh, everything takes time. time really heals all wounds. time numbs everything. effective cure.

just laugh.
will no one understand?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
of my 18 years alive, the only thing i've really learnt is that life is weird. haha. i think ive said this ten thousand times and i might say it another ten thousand times, but LIFE REALLY IS WEIRD. and scary, and saddening, and unpredictable, and torturous, and heartbreaking.

I really never know what to make of things that happen to me. White lies or blunt lies, special treatment or perceived special treatment, attention or no attention, satisfaction or dissatisfaction. AH whats this and whats that?! so what if its like that? and so what if its not like that? does that mean anything? i dont feel sad anymore. i dont feel that affected anymore. am i becoming less and less human?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. wake up stephanieeeeeeeeeee!

my office got fitted in with more shelves over the weekend. because, as a law firm, you obviously need ALOT of shelves for ALOT of files. haha. they squeezed shelves into EVERY available space. and the result was an office that would prolly give anyone or everyone claustrophobia. haha. so this big boss asked me this,

GS(Boss): So do you feel claustrophobic?
Stephanie: Yes a little

when your boss asks you that you feel abit of concern from him right? oh but no he went on with this

GS: But you will get used to it right?

T.T

ANYWAY, dearest old brother has gone back to australia! HAVE FUN AT UNIVERSITY if youre reading this! : D

someone really help meeeeeee. its killing me, stuck at the back of my mind, creeping out from time to time to slowly eat me alive.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
How did i get myself into rubbish like this? :S
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
pork & beans says:
eh i dont approve of so and so . i tell u first @!!!


hahahahaha deniseeeee.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
RIGHT. i took a month long hiatus from blogging and i think i'm finally ready to write here again! HAHA. okay whatever.

Work, has been hectic. sometimes i ALMOST fall asleep at court. but then i got to go to high court, and ALMOST got to go to PRISON. soooo its quite interesting. days at office are crazy. sometimes i stay at the office till almost 8 and yesterday i worked till a record breaking 930. okay i confess its not that much of a big deal if youre a lawyer/legal secretary, but i'm neither! haha i'm just an intern. but besides that, the EXPERIENCE was bountiful! learnt alot of things and all.

movies ive watched 4 this month alone. haha. three in less than 24 hours last weekend, and one more last night!

AHHHHH okay idk what else to say, but that weekends zoom by. monday im going to courtAGAIN. i will survive!
DC
just your heart,
in exchange for mine.
DC
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
ALRIGHT! so its been exactly a month since i last blogged! haha. what a coincidence. anyway, within this one month crap loadsa stuff happened! my cousin got married. we got busy preparing for e wedding, den directly after e dinner, we left for japan e next day, stayed there for two entire weeks. became maids and what not, and then flew back to singapore after new year and xmas! or rather xmas and new year!

SO nows the 14th of jan. i started work at e law firm two days ago! tmr will be my 4th day. told them i'd be working there for two months so i have approximately 30 more days of work to go! ah. I WILL SURVIVE. it'll prolly get better as e days go by! monday was a boring day at court. tuesday was a tiring day. the day started really badly for me. i had to get on a bus that was gonna break down..... and den i got stranded at e start of north bridge road, awaiting e next bus and praying that i wont be late for work and hence for e court session. dennn ended work at 720 that night and finally reached home at 830. wow.

today, was a GOOD DAY! but maybe also not so good. haha. its good cos court ended really early! and i had an early day! ended at 545! but e bus crawls. so i got reached home at only bout 650? yeppp. but it may be a bad day also, cos i realised that i was forgotten on 3 accounts, and at least one of e three, i sorta offered help out of good will? ah but i think im so used to such stuff that its normal to me. im always e one who's overlooked. and i really dont liek that. well, but who else is there to blame but myself?! blame me for being such a boring character. rarrr whatever.

THANKS NAOMI FOR LUNCHING WITH ME. i really feel that my facial muscles have been put to waste! i smile so much less now! slp on e way to work in e bus. in court just copy copy copy. den on e bus home, stone. RARRR lucky theres lunch with someone i know! pheww. wonder how it'll be like next week though! at least prolly no more white blouses, black skirt and jacket. i can try to wear colours! yay. many clothes to sort out! my feet have been given very good exercise with e heels im wearing all day. ahhhhhhhh. LIFE! i really wonder.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
SURVEY FOR FUN!
1. Put your (music program) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from

IF SOMEONE SAYS, “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY:
Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Full Of Happiness by H.O.T
( WOOO~hahah!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
梁山伯与茱丽叶 by 卓文萱&Cao Ge
( diaoz! haha)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Our Last Summer by Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard, Amanda Seyfried & Meryl Streep
(rmbs glady's wonderland..)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
New Frontier by Fire Bomber
(lousy motto =/)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
My Oh My by Aqua
(hahahahahahahhahahahaha)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Move Along by All-American Rejects
(HAHAH! i move along really well then)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
GAME by Ayumi Hamasaki

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Jiu Shi Ai by 蔡依林
(HAHAH my best friend is LOVE! better than glady's dj : P )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Bye Bye by SS501
(i say may goodbyes? :S)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Here I Am by Air Supply
(k this makes no sense)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Orgasm by X Japan
(x.x Omg. disgusting. i dont even listen to that........)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Lollipop (Candyman) by Aqua
(HAHAHAH)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The (After) Life Of The Party by Fall Out Boy
( well theres the afterlife part...)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
夜曲 (Nocturne) by 周杰倫

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Want It That Way by BSB

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
WONDERLAND by Ayumi Hamasaki

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
圣诞夜惊魂 by 五月天
( jing hun? )

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
That's How You Know (As Used in the Film Enchanted) by Amy Adams
(i will die wondering how someone will know how i love him/her hahah.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Drowing by BSB
(this shld be e answer to e previous qns! hahha. but it fits here too!)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
When I Say by Fly To The Sky
(AHH HWANHEE)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
夢から夢へ by Chage&Aska
(no idea what this is!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
乱世浮生 by Mayday
(hope this doesnt mean no!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST
Chiquitita by ABBA

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
rainy day by Ayumi Hamasaki
(:S)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Distance~君とのキョリ by SS501
(ah e distance between you and me! HAHAH okay stupid)

AND AFTER THIS IS....
爷爷泡的茶by 周杰倫

I SHALL GO DRINK TEA! CIAO! hahahhaha.
Friday, November 28, 2008
it annoys me that such a small insignificant action on your part can cause such a big impact on me. it took me awhile to get it all behind me. and all you had to do was to stirrup more trouble. thanks so much for destroying everything once again.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
life tricks you into believing that everything is fine, when everything under the covers is actually so fundamentally flawed that no one simple solution can be administered to better the situation. its in times when you realise the truth that you suffer the greatest shock. its not that you didnt know that problem existed. its just that you didnt expect it to surface and manifest once again.

i dont know la. maybe its just a mistake, cos pple overlook things right? esp when its smth unimportant?

I AM SO TIRED. my entire hse smells like barbeque and i wonder why.

I SURRENDER, I GIVE UP! its just not worth it. ITS NOT.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
i ALMOST cant believe i finished my book in a day. but, i had to! haha. i had to rewake the dormant idealist in me that died partially sometime ago. not that its good to be an idealist in today's HARSH baneful worldd-that which we call reality, its just that, sometimes its nice to just dream a lil? haha. every girl would have thought of a prince charming riding on a white horse at least once before eh? so maybe maybe we can just let ourselves dream abit.

ahhh liek snow white. hahah. the prince on his white horse comes riding towards you, your heart races, you must be dreaming..

-heres when the screeching sound comes on-
AND,

the next thing you know, youre rudely snapped back to reality. THE HARSH WORLD.

ahhhhh, l'amour. is it really that irrelevant in today's world? ahha.
salty tears stream down your face, carrying the taste of unhappy memories better forgotten.
the aftermath is always worse than e act itself.
today, the sun will glow orange and bright,
and it will be the brightest day ever.


JAPAN HERE I COME SO SNOW ON ME LIKE NEVER BEFORE AND I SHALL BE HAPPY!
if only i can say this: the world hates me cos you love me.
Friday, November 14, 2008
i can never aptly describe how i feel. most of the time, i just feel so muddled up, confused and unsure. and when i try to think it all through, it gets A LITTLE CLEARER, and then more questions pop up and it just becomes another mesh of unanswerable questions. i think in circles. and i speak in truncated fragments.

like denise, i really hope the end of a levels and post a levels wont just be an overhyped and overly anticipated time. i really hope i wont end up stuck at home and dreading the silence and the sound of me typing on my keyboard only. im sure there'll be outings and stuff.. but you CANT possibly go out like EVERY SINGLE DAY right? my pockets arent bottomless pits filled with golden coins.. and then theres the trouble of getting everyone to be free on a single day if you want liek mass outings. hahaha. AIKS nvm that luh. i shall leave it to LATER.

stuff me is going to do after A's?!?!
- IM GONNA TAKE JAP, and def driving since im LEGAL now.
- SLLEEEEPPP ALL DAY LONG. i am totally deprived of sleep, having not woken up late at all in the past two and a half weeks. cheers to me i've never done this before. and last night's slp was TERRIBLE.
- im gonna go prawning! hahahaha. though i dont really eat prawns.
- NIGHT SAFARI-ing dont think they have white tigers there.
- gonna get a jobbbb?
- pick up e guitar?
- DO A X STITCH
- prom shopping
- ... . .. . . .. . .

everything involves money. except sleeping T.T

will dreams ever come true?
i hope some do at least.
people tell me that my worst fears will never come true. but who can be absolutely sure they wont? life's so predicitably unpredictable. SOMEONE JUST SAVE ME.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
i havent blogged in awhile eh! haha. so im here.
its been what two months?
it still stays, it lingers, hides, and torments.
its dormant. will it go away?
but now i know!
now i know, now its over! finally. and its never going to come back.

ah weird. life truly is weird. i was sorta anxiously and kinda excitingly awaiting that day, but i wasnt really disappointed or anything also. haha its weird. i sorta expected? thats why i was looking forward to it? or maybe i was just looking forward to e day.. but looking at everything now though, seems like it was e least? haha but e qns is, who am i to expect more? who's anyone to expect anything? except bad htings? haha. i anticipate alot of not so happy things to happen, and many times they do.. MANY TIMES. i predict alot of things, to the disagreement of people around me, and so far i've almost always got proven right in e end.. but what's e point? whats e point in everything? i wonder why i put in so much effort.. i wonder why i try so hard to make it all perfect. when its all liek that. i wonder why i try to make everything nice and fair. i wonder why? im soooooooooo tired. both from lack of slp, and just tired tired also. TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

ANYWAY, TODAY I SAW MANY PPLE. haha i saw RIHANNA MANX. at e food court at bugis junction! haha. i shall upload e pic tmr! haha. i took A picture of her. opps. she was like on a shopping trip or smth. she looked relaly dao though. hahaha. with like two or three of her "guards" or assistants following her. she didnt even talk to them.. she just walked ahead of them.. i wonder what she ate.. imagine her eating BAN MIAN!? hahahah. saw miss jackina at e library too. and yu chuan at e foodcourt too!

anddddd, special thanks to smvps for celebrating my bday! and my brothers too! my elder brother sent me my present from aust! : D heres some pics! haha. younger brother bought me stuff too! :D (in e order i received e gifts,)




OK IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY. i just want A's to be over like NOW! and i want all my troubles to go away! : S
Monday, November 03, 2008
I wanna call the stars
Down from the sky
I wanna live a day
That never dies
I wanna change the world
Only for you
All the impossible
I wanna do

I wanna hold you close
Under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile
And feel the pain
I know what's beautiful
Looking at you
In a world of lies
You are the truth

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me

I wanna make you see
Just what I was
Show you the loneliness
And what it does
You walked into my life
To stop my fears
Everything's easy now I have you here

In a world without you
I would always hunger
All I need is your love to make me stronger

And baby
Everytime you touch me
I become a hero
I'll make you safe
No matter where you are
And bring you
Everything you ask for
Nothing is above me
I'm shining like a candle in the dark
When you tell me that you love me
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Eighteen years and Eighteen more days to the end of A Levels.
Strive on!
Thursday, October 30, 2008

大好きだよ

なんだか あなたのコト 思い出すのもったいないよ

Somehow, remembering all these things about you seems wasteful

あたしだけのものにしておきたいから

because I want to keep them to myself

なんだか あなたのコト 思い出すのヤだよ

Somehow, remembering all these things about you, I don't want to think about it

だって 1人でにやけて はずかしいよ

because it's embarassing to smile by myself

徹夜で帰ってきて疲れてるのに だっこしてくれて

Returning home after being out all night, you were tired but you cradled me in your arms

夢の中にいてもわかったよ

Though I was dreaming, I knew

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上 どうしようもなく

There is nothing more that I can do

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっと ずっと 大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

知ってた? あの夜にね 2人でドライブに行った時

Did you know? On that night, remember?

バイクの後ろの座席で 願ったコト

Riding on the back of the bike (with you) that which I wished for...

知ってた? あの夜にね 2人で見上げた星空に

Did you know? That night when the two of us looked up at the starry sky

あなたとあたしの幸せが見えたよ

I could see my happiness with you

たった1つ転がってたあたしを

The me that was tumbling (through life) alone

綺麗にしてくれて いつだって 支えてくれた

You made me beautiful and always supported me

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上 離れたくないよ

I don't want to let go of you

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっと ずっと 大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

これ以上 どうしようもなくて

There is nothing more that I can do

あなたが 恋しくて 恋しくて

I'll miss you, I'll miss you

ずっと ずっと 大好きだよ

Forever, through and through, I love you

ずっと ずっと ずっと ずっと

Forever and ever, through and through

ずっと ずっと 大好きだよ…

always and always, I love you...

Monday, October 27, 2008
CRAZY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
Saturday, October 25, 2008
that nagging feeling.
that feeling i cant explain.
will it just go away?

BIG SIGH!
Monday, October 20, 2008
why do we dream? (dream as in e thing you experience when sleeping at night, not the dream as in aspirations kinda dream.) they seem to just be images you see in your head while sleeping eh? but should they just be taken as meaningless images or not?

some say, when you dream, youre mentally preparing yourself for when/if that dream really becomes reality. that'd explain e countless dreams pple have had of themselves failing at certain impt examinations.. haha. yep and it does sound like a logical explanation. but smtms pple do "fantasize" in their dreams right? like maybe some crazy dbsk fan may dream of herself tgt with changmin or someone. hahah. sooo how do you explain those kidna dreams? i definitely dont think youre subconsciously preparing yourself to meet your favourite star though. haha.

im now constantly perplexed, puzzled, bewildered, confused, confounded . . . the list goes on. hahah.

Fastforward two years, and this time we're taking our A Levels instead of our O's. Will it be the same this time around? Will I be able to do as well? Will I leave SAJC with the same emotions and feelings as when i left Zhonghua? Will it just be the beginning of another long treacherous journey? Ah, the fear of the unknown. The questions that have no answers, or rather, the questions we will have to find the answers to ourselves. I hope the answers I find are the right ones. I seriously do. But, there's no such thing as a correct answer is there?

rarrrr i wrote that like two and a half months ago. how time flies. from when i wrote that till now, SOOOOO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED! its so scary. lets see what happened,
1)got scared/into e panic mode for prelims
2)started studying for prelims
3)took a short break from prelims
4)started studying again for prelims during e sept holidays
5)certain funny things during e sept holidays
6)prelims cum start of rubbish things
7)end of prelims, continuation of funny things
8)slacking time
9)end of funny things
10)end of school....
11)start of studybreak

two more weeks to a levels now. five more to the end of it? im kinda scared. i dont knwo what to do after a levels. i already feel lost now thinking bout it. what will i do when the time actually comes? i really have no idea what i want to do with my life. im like floating around and its getting scarier by e minute manx.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone just show me e way PLEASE! X.x someone just take my hand and lead me! tell me what i shld do what, and when i shld do what. dont let me second guess myself. dont let me wonder off track. just bring me to where i think i want to go.

im tiredddddd~
Saturday, October 18, 2008
rarrrrrr, im like in e i-have-alot-to-say-but-dont-know-what-to-say mood. haha

two more weeks. PANIC MODE IS GONNA BE ACTIVATED SOON.

new tag phrases:
1) life is weird!
2) i have a terrible fate.
Friday, October 10, 2008
FAREWELL SAJC! (long entry with many pictures!)

yesterday was e LAST OFFICIAL DAY of school.

-no more uniforms for the rest of my life,
-no more teachers to come nagging at me,
-no more walking to school everyday with STEPHANIE, haha sounds like im walking to school with myself X.X,
-no more going to the cafe, MAKING pauline eat, not only that, but also making her eat what i want her to. hahahaha.
-no more sitting at the fitness corner, eating drumsticks and chicken patties with LOTSA ketchup, talking bout stuff with pauline..
-no more msging in class,
-no more wasting time in e library, OH which reminds me i have unpaid library fines. hahah.

-no more many things.

last chapel session! hah.

our gifts for our teachers!

last civics.


esther and i! : D

bacteria girls and i! winnie, janice and esHtella! haha.

chan yu wei!

RARRR-phael!


nat, jialun and jialin! always disturbing me..


JOSHUA! sometime mrt partner! : D


ULTRA RUBBISHY and funny shida! (:


jialin! hah.


us with mdm leeee~ one of our fave teachers i'd say. haha.

rubbish kai! haha.

yuwei+kenny.


didnt get to take a picture with tesss, but here she is!



cool GP class!


REALLY nonsensical harry and cool hoeping. haha.

lynn and melisa!

mew! she loves me. hahaha.

shiping! s11 friendddd.

jasrin from OCIP CAMP! and kelly from ocip! : D


wanyinggg! who just celebrated her bday two days ago!

JASON!

07S10!

SMVPS!

constance!

david actually looks nice here. as in not scary luh.


stuff i got yesterday!


this year has been a turbulent year, as always. haha. im glad i got to know some of my classmates better this year. pple like kenny, yuwei, janice, estella, winnie, jl, jl, nat... sometimes i wonder how my jc life would differ if i was closer to my class instead. BUT NONETHELESS, im still glad i had smvps and the twelfies! ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE YEA! life WILL be good to us! (:

after farewell assembly, we PROCEEDED to orchard to carry out our plan to surprise vinnie and the guys, yk and chongping! oh it was SO tiring lugging our bags and walking ard orchard to and fro getting this and getting that. i almost died. and there was the travelling to the WEST part. haha. and the WHICH IS THE STOP?! we didnt even know what bus stop we shld stop at to get to vinnies hse, which floor she stayed and stuff like that. haha. it was not TOTALLY well planned before hand i guess. BUT WE DID IT STILL. we managed to surprise her and stuff.

then it was off to cathay we go. we were like an hour late? X.X ordered double up chicken at astons cos i was greedy. BUT alas, i couldnt even finish it. shldnt have ordered. hahaha. then after dinner, we sat ard outside the cinema ticketing counter.. for like an hour? it took us REALLY long to decide whtr or not ot watch a movie. ahha. i was kinda stone by then. didnt know what to do. so i think i was one of e "trouble-makers" one of those who couldnt give their answer.. but i wenta watch e movie in e end still! eagle eye. almost fell aslp halfway thru. haha.

so anyway, here i am, sitting around, not knowing what to do, but not studying. ah i shall start tmr. or later. later.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008
CAUTION: weird english????????

its scary how a tiny action, a small lack of action, or, to go to the other extreme, an over display of earnestness can throw everything off balance. scary how such things can destroy everything.

its sad how we can all be living under the same roof, sitting within metres away from each other, but yet know nothing bout the other party. but maybe, we can put all the blame on e walls erected-the real ones and the ones around our hearts, as long as these walls dont come crashing down on us.

its weird how you'd get all fired up and defensive when you see or hear that your friend was ill-treated, but yet feel so vulnerable and hurt when it happens to yourself.

its an absolutely queer world out there. ive just been proven right once again.

i will now thread more cautiously than(then?) ever.

i will now build higher, stronger, sturdier walls.

i will now just sit around, and mug mug mug for my a levels.

i will now just sit around... and wait...
Friday, October 03, 2008
i think i stepped on another toe again?
a toe belonging to someone UNKNOWN. haha.
thats how good i can get.

words sting.

i think i've almost used up my reservior.
by the time the next one comes, there wont be anymore left.
but anyway, hopefully by then,
i wont need that anymore. eh?

for something like that to happen at a time like this?
it could not have been more utnimely.
Monday, September 29, 2008
i dont know why.. but i seem to step on pple's toes soooo easily. issit cos im too straightforward and maybe even blunt sometimes? or is it just cause the other party is usually just too sensitive? im not gonna be unreasonable, i think its a mixture of both. this happens smtms and that happens at other times.

its just rather puzzling as to why pple cant just speak out about certain things. most things are not better left unsaid.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
right, i dont know what im doing here blogging cos i dont eggxactly know what i want to blog about. SO MANY RANDOM THOUGHTS. i met lil dee e other day. long time since we went out with only each other. and it was ultra impromtu. like i saw her online, and she went "wanna go for coffee?" i asked when. and she said "now"

NEXT thing i knew, i was getting ready to leave e hse. we wenta central and liangcourt, and combed e jap marts. ahha. found some rather cutes stufffff. and spent lotsa money on food. quite anyway luh. since im supposed to be on a budget. i think we spent like an hour in kino? or 45mins? haha. funneh. IVE KNOWN LIL DEE FOR 6 FRIGGIN YEARSSS! ah someone PLEASE tell me im not growing olddddd. haha.

anyway, we ended e day, sitting by e singapore river and waving to angmohs passing in e lil river taxis. haha. ONE dao-ed us, but the others were rather nice and friendly!


AHHHH LIFES BAD TO ME.

questions unanswered. tempers raised. patience destroyed.

what have we all come to?

one piece of good news though. IM IN E MIDST OF PLANNING SMTH FOR SATURDAY! woo~ haha. hope e plan DOESNT fall through!

THANKS YUWEI FOR E SURPRISE! heh : D

Sunday, September 21, 2008
woo~ i was cleaning my keyboard, and i plucked out some keys. haha. the spacebar had some special metal thing attached, so after trying to pluck it out, i just pushed it back in, den after that, when i started using it again, i realise the spacebar was like WEIRD. it was flimsy. ahah. like cant type properly. k i almost spoilt my keyboard. but still, i managed to fix it. yeah. k rubbish. im bored, i have work to do, but i dont want to do anything. AHHHHHHHHH. bleah.


i await in silence, not knowing
but probably hoping?

i was there. but i wasnt. or was i?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
the word on e tip of everyone's tongue: prelims

it has been there for quite a number of weeks now, but it will not go away. instead, it'll slowly, but surely morph into the words "a levels". isnt that cool? haha.

no not really. we're stuck. glued to this position. doomed for the next month and a half to MUG (i hate that word, i'd rather say study) or to WATCH others mug, and feel guilty, happy, unsure, tensed up, whatever it is you feel (haha this was really a typo! ITS A PUN TOO. ) in the blanks yourself.

right, back to the main topic, prelims. it all started out with everyone gearing up for the once "coming" exams and feeling all anxious about it. then, it was THE exams. and now, its the RESULTS. my class was spared the anxiety and worry since we got all 3 of our h2 papers back on monday. now, all thats left is econs h1. and we're told it wasnt done up to expectations. OH WELLS, i'll just hope for the best.

bah, i improved on my gp. its quite a relief. i wont say im JUMPING WITH JOY and im OVER THE TOP happy. but im sure if i didnt do well, i'd have been utterly disappointed. so thing is, my dad has been really worried bout my gp all this while. cos i havent been doing well. and today, i gave him news that i did prolly ok. GUESS WHAT? first he said good! but then later in the afternoon, he msged me and asked whtr i was happy about it. i said fine alright not bad. that sorta thing. and he replied "i think you can do better"(smth to that extent but i shant quote the exact phrase) IM LIKE, soooooo utterly taken aback. not that it was unexpected, but cant you just let me be happy or at least even satisfied with my results for awhile? UGH IM SO ANNOYED.

all i hope now is that i can AT LEAST replicate this, and possibly even do better for a levels.

in the meantime, i'd just ride e waves~ dont play with me.

headache headache headache.

i have a summary to copy, and an AQ to complete. maybe i'll take tmr's civics to do it. HAHAH.

LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING <3
Thursday, September 11, 2008
what do you do when you find yourself facing something you least expect? i'm sure everyone has their own sets of "perfect ideals" and dreams or what not. but when youre faced with something you totally did not expect to get, or did not foresee yourself with, what will you do? will you face it headlong, go into full throttle and get e best out of it (without considering the possible consequences?)? or will you shy away from the challenge? and what if, the entire trial concerns not only you? do you make your d ecision with the other party in mind? or do you not?
imconfused!
will you ever like something you thought you disliked? will your ideals change? or will it be a source of limitation? =S

BIO PAPER 1 LEFT! the prelims have come and is going away! three weeks zoomed by so fast. time simply flies. but, i'd rather also not be stuck with prelims for forever!! BREATHES a huge sigh of relief. tomorrow we can RELAX! ok most of us already started relaxing since AT LEAST yesterday. haha. but tomorrows e official END! so yep! it means smth.

YOSH!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
INERTIA!
INERTIA!
INERTIA!
dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study dont wanna study
dont wanna study ECONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
D: Summer lovin' had me a blast
S: Summer lovin' happened so fast


D: I met a girl crazy for me
S: Met a boy cute as can be


Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh
T: Tell me more, tell me more
D: Did you get very far?
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
M: Like does he have a car?
E: Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

D: She swam by me, she got a cramp
S: He ran by me, got my suit damp
D: I saved her life, she nearly drowned
S: He showed off, splashing around


Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
F: Was it love at first sight?
T: Tell me more, tell me more
K: Did she put up a fight?
E: Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

D: Took her bowling in the arcade
S: We went strolling, drank lemonade
D: We made out under the dock
S: We stayed out 'till ten o'clock


Summer fling, don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

E: Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
T: Tell me more, tell me more
P: But you don't gotta brag
PL: Tell me more, tell me more
R: Cos he sounds like a drag
E: shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo- bop bop, YEH

S: He got friendly, holding my hand
D: While she got friendly down in the sand
S: He was sweet, just turned eighteen
D: Well she was good you know what I mean


E: Woah!

Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

E:woo, woo, woo

PL: Tell me more, tell me more
J: How much dough did he spend?
T: Tell me more, tell me more
So: Could she get me a friend?

S: It turned colder - that's where it ends
D: So I told her we'd still be friends
S: Then we made our true love vow
D: Wonder what she's doing now


Summer dreams ripped at the seams,
bu-ut oh, those su-ummer nights....

Sunday, August 31, 2008
tictoctictoctic
times running out.

i like fairytales. not so much reading them, but more like watching them. so sweet! hahaha.
i am bored.
i am consistently tired.
times running out.
i shld change my dogs name to YOU! haha. i keep going to him and saying stuff likeee " YOU! why are you here? " "you! why are you all wet?!" "Youyou you!"
i sound like a bad owner now. haha.

enrique iglesias is hot. i keep watching antm.
BLEAH!

goes back to sleep
Sunday, August 17, 2008
'the more u know, the more u forget'
'the more u forget the less you know"
'so why study?'

weirong sang that to me online many days ag o. hha. apparently, his gf sang it to him. so he was passing it on to me. but obviously, i could hear nth. haha. andddddd i decided to post it in view of the looming prelims. tmr's D-DAY btw. and im still struggling with work... watching e olympics here and there.. couldnt resist watching synchronised swimming, altheletics and gym! BAH. im so dead. hahahaha.

ok i actually continued with e paragraph above and blabbered on with so much more things. but I TOOK IT ALL AWAY cos it may not be so nice? orrr rather pple may not like it. haha. whatever. im going crazy. so

SEE YA EVERYONE TMR IN SCHOOL! HOPE WE ALL DO WELL MANXXXXXXXXX.

gp. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I just posted an entry I wrote on the 7th of August but didn't post.

I dont really know what to say. Oh ok, let's talk about why I'd rather have loved and lost, then to not love at all. I don't actually even know the answer to that! Bah. I think the most important reason is probablyyyyyyy, me wanting to know what it feels like. Ok i make myself sound like some love-deprived sicko or something. hahaha. But its different isn't it?

I lent Miss Lee my spoilt pencil today and she catapulted it HAHA. xD

I didn't speak to Estella today cos she was absent from school.

I was supposed to study after school, but the lack of sleep got the better of me and I SLEPT LIKE A PIG INSTEAD. So much for trying to study.

I got engaged to Ploy. My dad asked why he wasn't informed. Dee was sad that she's not the person i got engaged to. DEEEE, MAYBE, it'll be your turn in another day, another lifetime. Either that, or I can break my engagement with Ploy. haha. But she'll kill me xD

I am going for dinner at Shokudo tomorrow night, despite er prelims being less than two weeks away. (: i LOVE me! I plan to restrict my spending to FIVEdollars or less. According to Jasmine, that's POSSIBLE!

I think I shouldn't go to school tomorrow. But I like chem tutorial! That's the only thing I like ; (

mylovelyladysssss

i have the other half of the centre pic! hah.


jerome, naomi, me, glady, dee ( BirthDAY GIRL ), kwanchiu, vivien, weirong.




LIL DEE'S 18TH! that was approx 0015 of 3rd aug? ok this is grossly overdue. but our plan sorta failed! we were too smart by dee. (what the) we were outsmarted by dee! she sensed smthhhh when her dad kept questioning her bout smth. hahah.


that night, i didnt dare ask my mum bout staying over! cos she er called me and DIRECTLY asked where i was and stuff. so she came to pick me up. the rest sans naomi stayed and PLAYED PS3 : ( nvm i had my bed. HAHA. andd the day after, we had korean bbq! woah ultra filling. haha. the uncle gave us normal plastic chops and we asked for metal korean ones instead! woo~

BIG HUGS!

i shall embark on a new m ission. i'll carry my lil rubbish of a camera around school, and take pictures! for the sake of remembrance! : D great idea!

Monday, August 11, 2008
i'd rather have loved and lost..
Thursday, August 07, 2008
8/7/08

I remember, around this time two years ago, or maybe slightly later into the year, we started talking about how our secondary school life was, how we'd miss our school, friends, teachers, about all the wonderful memories and of course, the impending O Levels. Honestly, as I mentioned like two years ago, the memories weren't all that happy and experiences not too friendly. But we made it through! The end result was really unexpected but I'm not complaining! : D

Fastforward two years, and this time we're taking our A Levels instead of our O's. Will it be the same this time around? Will I be able to do as well? Will I leave SAJC with the same emotions and feelings as when i left Zhonghua? Will it just be the beginning of another long treacherous journey? Ah, the fear of the unknown. The questions that have no answers, or rather, the questions we will have to find the answers to ourselves. I hope the answers I find are the right ones. I seriously do. But, there's no such thing as a correct answer is there?
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I read about such stuff in books, I watch the scenes on movies and sometimes, very seldomly, even hear a little about such stories from friends. I'm sure this happens to everyone else too. You read about it so much and watch the stories unfold so many times, that you sometimes just wish that the story of the character you're learning about is your own story. However, that never happens. Fiction and imagination can never come to life. Not unless someone bothers to mimick it and that rarely happens. Even if it does, it never is the same is it?

Aaaahhhh, maybe too much of such stuff isn't good for us. It brings out the idealist in everyone. Makes us hope for things that are unattainable, brings our expectations sky high and then BOOOM, at the end of the day, we just realise that such things do not exist. But then again, we need this sometimes. We need such stimulation such hope to bring us through torturous days. How many times do we tell ourselves that things will get better, and that our time just isn't here yet? What we're best at, at the end of the day, is lying. We're best at bluffing ourselves. We're so good at it that we cannot truly differentiate truth from lie anymore.

this post is rubbishy. SEEYAARD. im gonna hafta start studying. cos everyone is already doing so, and liek denise said, everyone is in panic mode, and those who are not in panic mode are beginning to panic that they are not in panic mode. unfortunately, i belong in the second category : D

thats all folks! stay happy and healthy and rock on! x)